Allie! 36. Single. Fabulous.

and scene.

2006-11-09T22:08:00.000-05:00

so i think i might be done with the whole blog thing.

i've got lots of things going on in my life right now, most are very very good, but i don't seem to have the want to make time to blog about them.

this might come back in another incarnation sometime...might not...but i think since things are on an up swing, now is a good time to close up shop.

loving you.

ME!

questions...comments...

2006-10-25T15:55:00.000-04:00

what's it mean to be content to you and what's it worth? ( and yes tex, it's conTENT, not CONtent)

does it's definition or worth change on a daily basis? moment to moment?

how much is external and how much internal?

is it something that can be thought out, or is it a decision you make?

i ask because i read the blog of a friend who seems to be struggling with that concept, and it's made me thing.

i'm a HIGHLY content person right about now. i have several things i'd change, several things i am actively changing, and lots of things i'm happy to leave just as they are. but i think part of the reason i'm happy and content, is because i DECIDED to be.

for me that was what made all the difference. luckily, chemically my brain is firing well, so it makes it easier to make that decision, and to bounce back when the dark seems to swirl around...but really, it came down to a decision.

i'm sure if i sat around and thought about all i wanted, or thought i needed/would have/ would be by now, i'd be fetal and listening to weepy music and praying for the sweet release of death....but again, with the decision to focus on what i have.

i'm not saying outright or trying to imply that reflection and introspection aren't necessary things, and looking at what you wish for isn't important...but i know this. ( and here's where i get a little new-agey and "unity" so sue me )

"whatever you focus on expands"

if i'm thinking about how miserable i am, guess what, i find more miserable everywhere i go. miserable people, situations, outcomes.
if i'm in a position of gratitude, peace, and joy, that's what i find.

right now i can remember that, and live it.

it helps with the content and grateful.

No Stopping Us (ME!!)

2006-10-09T18:43:00.000-04:00

I'm telling you now, things are good.

yes, i have a "friend" or two that are working my nerves, but really, now that i think about it, it's not really their fault, it's mine....so guess what. POOF, be gone.

crisis solved.

I was driving to school today and had that moment where i realized how happy i am. the weather was perfect, the radio gods were smiling upon me and playing exactly what i wanted to hear, and i wasn't going to a job i HATE i was going to school, which i LOVE! it's just goodness.

i'm making so many changes in my life now, vocation, spiritually, physically, emotionally. it's goodness. ( of course there are still things 'missing' in my life right now, like that MAN who can go ahead and show up any day now ) but know what, even without him, things are good.

i'm amazed at the amount of time i spent at a job that wasn't for me. i'm still trying to wrap my brain around why i was such a pussy for so long and didn't follow my heart... cause seriously, this is FUN. not work, FUN. ( here's where i preach again, if you wanna do something {or hell, someone} do it...i feel 20 pounds lighter,10 years younger, and happy with zero medication. )

......

and now for something completly different.

I'm currently financing my dentist's new a. villa, b. boat, c. european vacation .... and here's a little tidbit into allie land - i FOOKIN hate the dentist. i have the same level of fear of the dentist that i have for clowns. I have managed to make a fool of myself and cry at the first 2 appointments ( in a series of 7 might i add ). i go in on wednesday for something non painful ( hopefully ) and then thursday, i get to go back to have it checked.

so i'm predicting that by thursday night i'ma need: beer, drugs, the illicit lovin' of a big man.

or all 3. all three would work.

to quote miss pickle

2006-10-01T21:04:00.000-04:00

frienemies.

i'm sick of them

i'm sick of their 'i'll be there for you when it's conveinent for me" bullshit. i'm sick of the "i'll be friends with you cause there's something i want from you, want you to do for me, whatever" bullshit. i'm sick of always being the better friend.

i'm sick of calls not returned.
i'm sick of being the last one.
i'm sick of being taken for granted.

and i'm sick of ME taking them back.

here's the new deal, if you're not putting as much into the friendship as i am....well we're not really friends now are we.

fuckers.

stolded it from .....

2006-09-27T21:16:00.000-04:00

BETH!

1. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE? pretty much like everyone else's that was the 20 smacker upgrade...little flippy LG

2. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? In the 7am hour on a tuesday, i could pull out my astrology chart and see fo' sho' ...but i think 7ish is close enough

3. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? Romance

4. WHAT DO YOU MISS? Shopping.

5.DO YOU PREFER HOT DOGS OR HAMBURGERS? Burgers, with beer, at the vortex

6. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? Not usually. I like to look at what i'm scared of dead in the eye!

7. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Al Green.

8. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Dark Hair, Dark Eyes usually -but sting is a blonde...so we know i like the blonds too.

9. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? see question #5.

10. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON WHO WAS MAD AT YOU? I know several have been disappointed by me, but don't think i've made anyone 'mad' in a long time

11. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE? Southern.

12. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU: My parents, with the bringing into the world and whatnot.

13. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS TAKEN? I think history has proven that this is something i can do. it's the acting on it i don't do. but the falling, yeah. i seem to have an advanced degree in the unavailable man. speak to me, i'm available for immediate bookings.

14. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?I'd make the words tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em right now.

15. YOUR WEAKNESSES? i could tell you, then you'd have the power, and who wants that?

16. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Let's remember, i'm old. I was around LONG before caller id was.

17. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE? EVERY FUCKING THING THEY OFFER.

18. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?a three way ( how odd ) tie between my eyes, my hair, and my rack

19. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? To be thankful for another year.

20. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? Dunno. I've convinced myself none. so we'll go with none ( but 1 would be great) .

21. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? I've prayed to the hair altar of Reese Whitherspoon more than once. (and i wish for sting on top of me, does that count? )

22. WHICH FINGER[S] IS/ARE YOUR FAVORITE? The middle one ( ditto beth)

.23. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? I'm happy to report it's been a while

24. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF? Otown baby. O-T-O-W-N. suck it bitches

25. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF? I really think i would. which i guess is a good thing.

26. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL? I have. and that sucks.

27. DO LOOKS MATTER? What else do we have to judge people on ( that's a joke for the ass goblins who think i'm serious) and yes, they matter. but i also think that beautful is in the eye of the beholder

28. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER? I yell, and curse like a sailor.

29. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY? Not at all. it takes a LONG time to get my trust, and a moment to lose it..

30. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? the Anti-Coloring book

31. WHERE WERE YOU 6 HOURS AGO? just getting home from a trip to see the main gays and the granny. .

32. WHO WILL BE YOUR NEXT KISS? Mike

33. IS THERE ANYTHING PINK WITHIN 10 FEET OF YOU? people seriously, this is allie. there is ALL fooking manner of pink around me. My pink wristlet ( that #3tx gave me for my birthday a few years ago) that holds the ipod, pink pins, a pink lemonade, and the pink polish at the end of my fingers .

34. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? pink and white polka dotted pj bottoms, and a t-shirt that says "well behaved women rarely make history"

35. WHAT'S THE LAST SPORTING EVENT YOU WATCHED? Does watching the gays shop for halloween decorations count? wait, truth be told, i sat on my ass and watched them decorate the house after the shopping, so that's the last one.

36. WHAT IS/WAS YOUR FAVORITE CLASS? Hair Bangin. i frekin love it, before that, any art class wins, probably pottery.

37. HOW OLD ARE YOUR PARENTS? My mom just turned 60, and dad will be 60 later this year.

38. DO YOU MISS ANYONE?too many to list here!

39. WERE YOU AN HONOR ROLL STUDENT IN SCHOOL? not until the end of my college career, and now again in cosmetology school.

40. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE FUTURE? That it's not a guarentee so love thost you love HARD!! and as the barenaked ladies say, "if there's someone you can live without, then do so"

41. DO YOU HAVE A TAN? You're cute. i make rose mcgowan look ethnic.

42. HOW OLD DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS? whenever, until about 40. then i'm out.

43. LAST TIME YOU GOT STOPED BY A COP OR PULLED OVER? October/Novemeber 1988, cause of a NASTY accident. details at another time.

44. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR DRINKS? Free

45. ARE YOU SOMEOEN'S BEST FRIEND? I sure am, and damn happy about it.

so maybe next week i'll have a "real" blog entry - hell, maybe tomorrow, who knows.

blah blah blah

2006-09-22T11:29:00.000-04:00

it has come to my attention that i have been sucking in the blogging department latetly. I'd like to say that it's cause i won a ton of money and am unable to write because i'm currently having wild tantric monkey sex with sting.

but i'm not.

i've just been a combo of busy, and not in the mood to blog. but there is good stuff around, i finished my first quarter of cosmetology school and i'm on a little break between quarters now. on monday i leave to go see my granny and my gays for a few days, so that's always good.

actually now i'm writing cause 1. i have some things/disappointments in people going on in my melon that i don't wanna think about and 2. i'm stalling on cleaning the house for one of those "hen party" shows i'm having for a friend at my house tomorrow.

*****

ok, i started that a few hours ago...so, it's a few hours later. Not that any of that matters, with the noted exeption that the frekin cleaning is now done. praise god, or me, since i'm the one thata did it.

also, since the beginning of this entry, i called the 'lo cause i needed to make words. i love that i have people to do that with.....anyhow back to my not having sex with sting. other than that, there are really good things going on, still in love with school and SO glad i'm doing this. i feel more alive than i have in ages. it's starting to feel like fall here in the south, and it's wonderful. the other day i had my favorite day of the year, the day when the sugar maple leaves start to turn...that day signals a need to drive up to the mountains and antiques, walk in the woods, and eat boiled peanuts ( not necessarily in that order ).

i have nothing to report on the lovelife front, and i'm sick to death of that. it's funny, i don't think i want to be married, i see no reason for it, and i only know of a few that have ever 'worked out" - however, i am ready for THAT MAN to make himself known. just sayin.

so really, as you can tell, while there are words on the screen, i've said nothing, save this.

my house is clean, it's fall, love school, need a man.

aren't you glad i posted ? yea, me too :)

Song For A Friend

2006-09-08T09:56:00.001-04:00

now just guess which friend....

Song For A Friend, Jason Mraz

Well you're magic he said

But don't let it all go to your head

Well I bet if you all had it all figured out

Then you'd never get out of bed

No doubt

All the thing's that I've read what he wrote me

Is now sounding like the man I was hoping

To be

Keep on keeping it real

Cause it keeps getting easier indeed

He's the reason that I'm laughing

Even if there's no one else

He said, you've got to love yourself

You say, you shouldn't mumble when you speak

But keep your tongue up in your cheek

And if you stumble on to

You better remember that it's humble that you seek

You got all the skill you need,Individuality

You got something

Call it gumption

Call it anything you want

Because when you play the fool now

You're only fooling everyone else

You're learning to love yourself

Yes you are

There's no price to pay

When you give and what you take,

That's why it's easy to thank you

You...

Let's say take a break from the day

And get back to the old garage

Because life's too short anyway

But at least it's better then average

As long as you got me

And I got you

You know we'll got a lot to go around

I'll be your friend

Your other brother

Another love to come and comfort you

And I'll keep reminding

If it's the only thing I ever do

I will always love

I will always love you

Yes you

I will always, always, always, always love

I will always, always love

I will always, always love, love

Climb up over the top.

Survey the state of the soul.

You've got to find out for yourself whether or not you're truly trying.

Why not give it a shot?

Shake it. Take control and inevitably wind up

Find out for yourself all the strengths you have inside of you.

Weekend Update

2006-09-03T15:31:00.000-04:00

It’s been quite the weekend. Not in a “I went to New York to do some shopping and catch a show” or “ We needed some fun, so we took off for Vegas” weekend. But a good one nonetheless. I went flying ( yes FLYING ) in a wee tiny ( 4 seater ) plane on Friday with a friend from school, it was amazing. I’d only been in large planes, and then only in those a few times. This was a totally different experience, and it was great. Atlanta really is a beautiful city, I’m so lucky to be in a place like this. I think it set the weekend off on a good note….it was interesting personality/company-wise, but great. My friend from school is a sweet girl, and hey, her friend was a pilot, so gotta love that.

I did lots and lots of introspection this weekend. Not the bad, “ugly cry” kind …although that usually turns out being wonderful – this was just the having the time and patience and concentration to think and write and process. And somewhere along the way, I realized that everything isn’t GONNA be just fine. It’s just fine now. There are things that with surface thought I would change, but then when I really think about it – obviously I wouldn’t change them, cause I haven’t. I’ve had the weekend of happy. I’ve spent time with friends, and family - laughed with and counseled friends on the phone, dog sat mike’s brother, ate meals with my best friend and her kids, listened to music, read books, did some journaling, read lots of blogs, found some blogs of friends, and it’s still all just fine.

If “he” makes himself known that’s great, if not, well – that’s ok too.
If I get more dogs, that’s great, if not – I ADORE the one I have.
I’m taking classes in a field I LOVE, and researching what I have to do to have my own company
I’m content in this house for now, and willing to release it for a different location.
I still think the “I’m so happy to see you” puppy dance is the best thing in the world, and I get that more than once a day.
As crazy as my family makes me, and I’m sure I make them crazy too, they love me, and like me too.
I’ve let go and forgiven people who have wronged me, ( whether they think they did or not ) and I can now say I honestly wish them well ( I still wish them away, but well)
I’ve almost forgiven ME for some gigantic mistakes.

In classes, we’re doing these “ethics” exercises, which while I think they’re juvenile and silly – and nothing like anything we’d have done on a daily basis in “real” college - they are kinda interesting. Many of these exercises really seem like giant “meme’s” to me and they ask personal information, that I’ll be the first one to say, I outright lie about. I took too many undergrad and post grad psych classes, and employment psych ( psych in the workplace ) questionnaires, wrote too many of them, and studied too many to not be able to tell what answers they’re looking for, and in most cases go ahead and give to them.

That being said, I have spent some time thinking about one we did a couple of weeks ago, which was basically a list of adjectives and we were to match them with how we see ourselves, then have others answer with how they viewed us, and to see if there was any correlation between the two. I’d admit, I wasn’t honest with my answers, I just looked for the most “ school appropriate” answers…but it made me think. How WOULD I describe myself, in my most honest raw and unfiltered ways. I think my natural tendency is to let my mood dictate the answers. I’m in feeling blue, or depressed the answers mirror that. If I’m feeling strong and fearless, the answers mirror that feeling too. I guess that’s normal and most people react that way also…..I guess I say all that to say I finally realize that things are just fine. The sad of life is normal, and the happy is too. And I think finally I have some balance in that.

The happy allie was gone for a very long time. I thought maybe she was gone forever. I know parts of her have been left along the wayside, and I can see exactly where and when she left. I can see where her heart was broken, and where scar tissue remains. I can remember where parts of her dream died. But recently the happy me starting coming back around. I’m ready to have her back. I haven’t forgotten the things I’ve seen and done that brought the depression bus around, and I understand why I got on it, strapped in and rode for a long time. But, the joy is overpowering the sorrow. The feelings that things are good, and more good times than I can count are on their way, and I’m open to them…..is a good feeling. I know that I, like most people, have deep scars and hurts, and broken dreams – but I’ve decided that I’m not letting those things rule me anymore, I’m not defining myself by those things, either consciously or subconsciously. I didn’t realize what a noose they were around my neck until I let myself think and feel and be in the space of the horrible…..then release it, and enjoy the good that’s coming into my life to fill up the ick.

Now if I could only get that “other” thing filled up ( ah, I slay me )

stuff

2006-08-28T00:17:00.000-04:00

Did i mention that i love stuff. here's somma what i'm lovin' lately.

1. Sitemeter
2. Hair School
3. My ipod
4. Burgers and Shiners at the Vortex
5. Getting Pictures of Lola's dogs in my email
6. Giggling
7. Phone conversations that start with "WHO DIS"?
8. Driving too fast with the radio too loud
9. Gigantic mugs of coffee
10. Getting new music
11. Old Hitchcock movies ( as opposed to the new ones ... that's a joke )
12. Going on walks with my pupper
13. The ugly yet uber comfy 'crocks'
14. When friends who I have leaned on, lean on me.
15. Big Silver hoop earrings
16. The smell of fresh clean laundry
17. Knitting, ( well, i'll like it more when it's cools off - cause DAMN it's hot now)
18. Spending sundays in my pj's
19. Lamps with feathers as fringe
20. Tivo
21. A giant stack of books from the public library
22. That the 'ber months are right around the corner
23. The way the little ones reach up to grab my hand to walk with me
24. Ditto for the "i get to sit next to allie" conversations
25. The smell of fresh cut grass

when in doubt, meme

2006-08-24T22:37:00.000-04:00

The 40 Questions About Me Meme

Find out more useless facts about me!

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? no ma'am.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?I have not ridden a rollercoaster in a long time, but when i do, it's eyes wide open and arms reaching up towards the sky!

3. When's the last time you've been sledding? I LIVE IN GEORGIA, what is this sledding thing you speak of?

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?Depends on who the person is. i mean i love my numbers, bust MAN some of them are WORLD CLASS SNORERS so , i'll sleep alone thanks...but a good cuddle wwith a cute boy i do like, but then i like it when they go home too...

5. Do you believe in ghosts? Sure do
.
6. Do you consider yourself creative? Sure do.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? How old is this meme?

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Jennifer of course, but DAMN Angelina is SO frekin beautiful, she's gotta be some genetic mutant or something, they can't come out of the package that way.

9. Do you stay friends with your ex's?I kind of wish I did sometimes. Mostly, no.

10. Do you know how to play poker?Poke her, i never even met her! I'll be here all week, try the veal!

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?Nope.

12. What's your favorite commercial?I loved the deranged 'gerbils' on the quizno's commericals that at the end of the thing yelled " they got a pepper bar" love that.
.
13. What are you allergic to? The President & cats

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights? No, damnit,if i did, i'd get caught, i'm that girl.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? i do.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? BoSox. FUCK the yankees.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? Better than that, as a kid i went to the Ice Capades Skating School.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?Always. For about 20 minutes unless i write them down.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? I can't remember, that's SAD!, but it probably involved lola or christel

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles? Of Course

21. What's the one thing on your mind now? How good i feel

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is? yes of course

23. Do you always wear your seat belt? Only when i'm in the front seat.

24. What cell service do you use?Verizon

25. Do you like Sushi? La-hove it.

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident? I did, and it's the avoided part that matters.

27. What do you wear to bed? melon queen t-shirt.

28. Been caught stealing?Once, when I was five. I enjoy s--wait, that was Jane's Addiction. The correct answer is, "no."

29. what shoe size do you have?9 wide. mm wide
.
30. Do you truly hate anyone? no, probably not, but i dislike most.

31. Classic Rock or Rap? OLD rap will do , but i like classic rock

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? Sting

33. Favorite Song? 4 way tie. Tempted by Squeeze, You Don't Know Me by Ray Charles, For The Good Times by Al Green, and Tupelo Honey by Van Morrison

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror? Of Course

35. What food do you find disgusting? The Dreaded Green Pepper, Organ Meats, Celery, Fennel, grainy mustards.

36. Do you sing in the shower? Every day of My life

37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"? Last Week or so.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?No, and i'll kick your ass if fyou do.
39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? A million times, i can't say i'm going to ever do it again.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face? no ma'am.

ssh, time for nigh nigh

2006-08-21T19:39:00.000-04:00

i've got lots of things to blog about, i just need to settle down and blog it. BUT since i'm both a. tired and 3. not bloody likely to do it tonight ... here's a little nugget ....i finally joined the world of the ipod not that long ago. and i'm queen of the playlist, this is my current ( and always growing, and open to suggestions ) playlist for nigh nigh.

and of course not in order, momma likie the shuffle.

After An Afternoon, Jason Mraz
All At Sea, Jamie Cullum
Angel From Montgomery, Bonnie Raitt
Bewitched , Frank Sinatra
Blackbird, The Beatles
Breaking Us In Two ,Joe Jackson
Colors, amos lee (feat. Norah Jones)
Digame, Ana Nylick
Distant Sun , Crowded House
Don't Dream It's Over , Crowded House
Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight, James Taylor
Easy, Lionel Richie
Emotion, Bee Gee's
Fall At Your Feet ,Crowded House
Father And Son , Cat Stevens
Fingers Of Love, Crowded House
For The Good Times, al green
Four Seasons In One Day , Crowded House
Ghost, Indigo Girls
Good Life , Frances Dunnery
Handy Man, James Taylor
How Deep Is Your Love, Bee Gee's
How Can You Mend A Broken Heart, al green
Humble Me, Norah Jones
I Believe In Love, Dixie Chicks
I Could Write a Book, Frank Sinatra
I Will, alison krauss
I Will, The Beatles
If I Were Your Woman, Gladys Knight and the Pips
If You're Not The One ,Daniel Beddingfield
Into The Mystic , Van Morrison
La Belle Dame Sans Regrets, Sting
Leaving, Indigo Girls
Lonely Night in Georgia, Marc Broussard
Love TKO ,Teddy Pendergrass
My Love, Paul McCartney
No More I Love You's, Annie Lennox
No Woman No Cry , Bob Marley & The Wailers
Nobody's Girl, Bonnie Raitt
Only Lonely , Hootie & The Blowfish
Sleeping To Dream , Jason Mraz
Sweet Baby James , James Taylor
The Nearness Of You, Norah Jones
This Woman's Worth, alicia keys
Tupelo Honey , Van Morrison
Turn Me On , Norah Jones
Walk On The Ocean, Toad The Wet Sprocket
Why?, Annie Lennox
Wild World , Cat Stevens
You Can Sleep While I Drive,Melissa Etheridge
You Don't Know Me, Elvis Presley
You Don't Know Me, Ray Charles
You Don't Know Me, Van Morrison

eh.

2006-08-16T15:49:00.000-04:00

you know when you know someone isn't the one. but you kinda want them to be the one....then you find out YOU'RE not the one and it kinda knocks the wind out of ya.

yeah.

that's me today.

what do you do with that?

Curl Up & Dye

2006-08-03T20:06:00.000-04:00

ok, so long time no blog.

i know. so shut up already.

we've had interesting developments, wonderful interesting developments in allieland.

and to get to those, you're gonna have to deal with a little backstory...then some front story.

I had a weird career goal as a kid. I wanted to be a makeup artist on “all my children” ( I swear, in my most recent past life I HAD to be a gay man…and he’s been kicking and screaming to get out ever since ) I think it’s no secret that since then I’ve been a total ‘beauty’ junkie.

Momma DO love her cosmetics, hair products, and nail stuffs.

When it came time to decide on an actual career goal, that industry was something I totally wanted to do. One small problem, the parents were NOT having it. They both educated and worked themselves out of lower socioeconomic backgrounds firmly into the middle/upper middle class and they were NOT having their only child “ do hair”.

Now, believe this or not, I’m a TOTAL people pleaser ( or was at least ) and let my dream of a profession in this industry fall by the wayside.{ But as anyone ( ie, the numbers, the gays, and my bff C ) can tell you, I have/had SO SO SO much product I could have styled All My Children, As The World Turns, and Guiding Light ( my shows of choice as a child ) } ANYWAY, I did the ‘right’ thing, got a bachelor of science degree in social services, and went to work.

I worked as a caseworker/ case manager / senior worker… whatever, for about 11 years with varying degrees of success, but this nagging feeling that I was NOT doing what I was put here to do was still pulling at my heart. I left my last job in a VERY bad place, betrayed, deceived, lied to, it was bad, seriously bad…like if I didn’t believe in karma I’d wish terrible things and MEAN it, about someone I used to call friend. ( but that’s another story for another day)

SO, fast forward to about a month ago.

I started cosmetology school

And I fuckin’ rock it right.

It’s so what I’m supposed to be doing. I feel creative, and free, and talented, and happy.

Like really happy, like peaceful, things don’t freak me out happy.

Things like people making “beauty school dropout” and “ they’re always hiring diesel truck owner/operators too, try that out” type comments .. cause you know what, it doesn’t have to be for them, It’s for me, and it’s so me.

I am so happy when I have those tools in my hands, the irons, the dryers, the color…..i’ve always been a crafter, now I can admit that I’m an artist, and this is my art.

And I’ve learned something else.

Do what makes you happy. No matter what anyone else thinks.

If you’ve waited on doing something you want to do because of what someone else might think, do not wait one more minute. I don’t regret my degree, or the work that I did, it helped me decide what I don't want and … it makes doing this now even more sweet.

And it’s more than sweet, it’s delicious.

help me to understand.

2006-07-23T17:19:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I pretty much never talk politics on here. My friends know I’m super liberal, I still think that woman, that miss lewinsky was being patriotic with my beloved bill – and if I was called to serve my country with him, I’d happily do it ( but I’d know not to tell people about it, stupid twat)

Anyway.

I have a little potentially political bender to go on.

WHY THE FUCK ARE AMERICANS STILL HANGING OUT IN THE MIDDLE EAST??!!

(I’m not talking about soldiers. Our country is at war, they’re doing their jobs, and no matter what I think of why we’re there, or who their commander in chief is, I thank them for what they’re doing, and hope they get home safely and soon.)

I’m talking about the ‘civilians’, who are, you know "just visiting". Looking for an authentic hummus recipe mayhaps?

Seriously, what the fuck.

No, seriously, tell me. ‘cause I don’t fucking get it.

LOLA! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!

2006-07-19T20:46:00.000-04:00

this stalker is lola, i'm sure of it.

seriously!

John Cusack Wins Restraining Order

SANTA MONICA, Calif. (AP) - John Cusack won a temporary restraining order Tuesday against a woman he claims has been stalking him for more than 18 months.
Emily Leatherman must stay at least 500 feet from the 40-year-old actor, his home, workplace, car and any company or office where he does business, Superior Court Judge Linda K. Lefkowitz ruled.
Cusack was not in court for the ruling.
Leatherman, who is identified in court papers as being homeless, could not immediately be reached for comment.
In court papers filed last month, Cusack said the 31-year-old woman ``is showing unusual interest by stalking, throwing long letters of interest over my fence in bags with rocks and screwdrivers inside, making unannounced visits to offices of people I work with in an attempt to meet with me and listing my address as her own during a recent arrest.''
The woman ``threatens to commit acts of violence against herself if I do not help her,'' Cusack's court papers stated.
The star of ``The Ice Harvest'' and ``Must Love Dogs'' said he has never met Leatherman but her mail had been arriving at his home.

take 2

2006-07-17T20:53:00.000-04:00

I had such a good blog entry written

I KNOW…and I wrote it in blogger, which I know is a rookie move, and I’m not a rookie in this game.

I thought about throwing the computer out the window – but I’m listening to Tex’s “picnic in the park” mix – and seriously, you can’t be all pissy listening to that - cause it’s that good. If you ever get the chance to listen, take it. You’ll feel better, trust me. It’s goodness. ( and no, I received no monetary or sexual {ew mister} compensation for this commentary)

I’m in such a good place lately, I made some great decisions and I’m just plain happy.

We like the happy allie, it’s goodness. It’s like CAKE kinda good….and as a fat kid, you can imagine how I feel about cake. ( and cake is making me think of bread, and mary, seriously – make me some. Not kidding )

And it was a happy allie day ‘in spite of” today. Some interesting things happening on the man front. I heard from a long lost friend last week … in the form of a card. So today on the way home, I took advantage of the ‘in network” free calling and set about a ringadingaling. Interesting, (and lola, you’re right of course) I hope he finds the happy again, cause that dude happy is quite fun. Then I came across some potentially interesting information about a recent friend. He couldn’t or wouldn’t be what I needed, and i guess i in turn wasn't what he wanted, ( can you imagine? me neither) so he’s totally free to look for someone who can be what he needs, but when you see it in black and white it can sting …. But again, back to the picnic mix – I defy anyone to feel shitty while listening to Jack Johnson, it just plain can’t be done. ( I can say I’m still not ready for ANY al green or most van morrison without going to the dark side … so no al or van – but they’ll be here when I’m ready)

So as my beloved mraz and friends say “I’m gonna keep on waiting for my yellows to change to greens”

Good times ahead…hell, good times here.

And now for something completely different.

Dear Sweet Girl.

I have wishes for you

Safe Travels
Good Road Food
Excellent Road Tunes
Happy Days
Giggly Nights
Beautiful Sunrises with coffee in hand
Amazing Friends
Cuddly Kitties
Trust in Yourself
That you see the AMAZING girl I see

Best of luck with the do-over. I’m right next to you every step of the way. And as ever, I’m in awe of you – don’t forget,
Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall
All you have to do is call,
and I’ll be there
yeah yeah yeah

You’ve got a friend.

Hi. My name is Allie!

2006-07-08T22:44:00.000-04:00

and i'm a craigslist addict.

have you been to this freakfest?

i'm sure there are some real job leads on here, and maybe some free/low cost furniture, books, or even music is available.

but me?

i come here to read the 'personals'....especially the "casual encounters"

as truvy said in "steel magnolias" - there are some pretty sick tickets in this town.

i love how people will post their wants, then the city they live in, and their FACE!! now, while marietta is not in most ways a "mayberry" ... it's still not a big town, and there's a good chance that you will see someone you know on there. THAT is the fun part!

another part that i love is trying to figure out what the abbreviations mean.... i had to call someone to find out what 420 means ( yeah, i don't do the illegal drugs - legal ones....i'm all about though), but when it's something like cd/t sub bottom seeking nsa or ltr dom top .... that takes a moment for a girl to figure out.

and evidently there are a few swingers clubs in atlanta - i have no desire to participate - but i'd LOVE to see what goes on in there ( i think) is that wrong?

Hundreds of pages pages pages forwards...(or for words)

2006-07-02T09:49:00.000-04:00

Lot’s of words.

Looking like a wealth of understanding and knowledge in black and white on screen or on paper.

Thing is, they’re saying NOTHING.

I’ve spent a lot of time reading blogs these last few days. And, for someone who sometimes writes a blog – sometimes does more than a survey, or a list…. I really read very few of them. I have a few that I check out most everyday, but in all honesty, they are blogs of friends who I spend many hours with on the phone anyway…so not necessarily ‘new’ news in those for me.

I have spent much time skulking about different blog sites lately, modblog, blogger, myspace, yahoo 360…and reading many many blogs. It’s very interesting reading. It seems that for the most part, all of them seem to be written for the reader, and not for the writer. This seems like an ego-cluster fuck to me. I’m not sure why other than, it seems like a lie. It seems very contrived to me. It feels like many people have gotten out their dictionaries and strung together a series of impressive looking words….looking good, saying nothing.

I have a “paper” journal where I keep my deep, dark, ugly, “I’m not even sure “I” want to know them” thoughts, and I realize that this one is for public consumption – so I DO see the hypocrisy of this particular blog entry…..but many times I only write on here when “I” feel like it, instead of some obligation to the ‘public’. And I also think when I do write on here about real things it’s quite honest, too honest at times…maybe I should break out the dictionary and thesaurus this week and see if I can spark up the wordplay…have more flowery language and a frilly package, and less to actually say.

stolded it from mary, #4 west by god.

2006-06-29T21:38:00.000-04:00

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey

Name:
Allie!

Birthday:
June 2

Birthplace:
San Antonio, Texas

Current Location:
Marietta, Georgia

Eye Color:
Blue-ish/Green-ish

Hair Color:
Ferria, Espresso ( but that should change, maybe even tonight)

Height:
5'4"

Right Handed or Left Handed:
Right

Your Heritage:
Irish/Scottish

The Shoes You Wore Today:
Flip Flops

Your Weakness:
boys...and ice cream

Your Fears:
clown, death by fire...actually really bad fire and not dying

Your Perfect Pizza:
Spinach and Feta

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
go on vacation ( ditto mary )

Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:
a/s/l

Thoughts First Waking Up:
COFFEE NOW!!!!

Your Best Physical Feature:
great eyes, rack isn't so shabby

Your Bedtime:
I don't sleep

Your Most Missed Memory:
don't know

Pepsi or Coke:
Diet Coke with Lime

MacDonalds or Burger King:
um, neither

Single or Group Dates:
single

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:
I don't drink fake tea!!

Chocolate or Vanilla:
Both, please

Cappuccino or Coffee:
either as long as it's not fake

Do you Smoke:
no

Do you Swear:
fuck yeah

Do you Sing:
yes

Do you Shower Daily:
yes

Have you Been in Love:
I don't know

Do you want to go to College:
been there, done that

Do you want to get Married:
I don't know that I believe in Marriage, so i dunno. but i do want to be in a long term romantic relationship.

Do you belive in yourself:
tryin real real hard to

Do you get Motion Sickness:
yes

Do you think you are Attractive:
I do

Are you a Health Freak:
HA!!

Do you get along with your Parents:
most of the time. but sometimes - SWEET jesus

Do you like Thunderstorms:
yes

Do you play an Instrument:
no, sadly

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:
yes

In the past month have you Smoked:
nope

In the past month have you been on Drugs:
nope

In the past month have you gone on a Date:
I went to dinner and Targer with my friend Christine and her daughter does that count?

In the past month have you gone to a Mall:
NO

In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:
no

In the past month have you eaten Sushi:
yes, MMMMMMMMMMMMM sushi

In the past month have you been on Stage:
no

In the past month have you been Dumped:
no

In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:
no

In the past month have you Stolen Anything:
no

Ever been Drunk:
not, not me, not ever :)

Ever been called a Tease:
hell no, i put out

Ever been Beaten up:
no

Ever Shoplifted:
no

How do you want to Die:
in my sleep, as an old old woman, after no illness, and having had a great, fun, happy life

What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
I wanna finally own my spa/salon

What country would you most like to Visit:
Ireland

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:
green

Favourite Hair Color:
red

Short or Long Hair:
short

Height:
i like tall, but just taller than me is enough

Weight:
i like big guys

Best Clothing Style:
clean and comfy

Number of Drugs I have taken:
1

Number of CDs I own:
too many

Number of Piercings:
3 in left ear, 4 in right

Number of Tattoos:
1

Number of things in my Past I Regret:
a few, a couple big huge ones

i still remember the password to this thing, who knew?

2006-06-26T22:57:00.000-04:00

i know i haven't posted in a while, and i kept saying to myself ( and tex ) that i didn't have anything to say.

actually that's totally wrong. i have so much to say, but thing is i feel a great wave of honesty coming. thing is, i'm not scared that my friends who read this(and the people who read this with the hope of me being unhappy so they can sqawk about it in other blogs) and what their opinions of me might be or how they might change.

i'm a little concerned about my opinion of me and how that might change.

i've been introspection girl lately. i've read my cards, checked my numbers ( well, those numbers too ), gone back to church, meditated, prayed, cried, laughed, journaled, i've gotten out old hymnals and sung songs in my room that once brought me answers....and so far, i've yielded nothing.

i think i don't know the question to ask. and maybe that's cause i don't really want to know the answer yet. maybe the key is just to shut up and listen and watch. i was thinking and looking at this amazing tree in my front yard. that tree knows what to do and when. it knows when to bloom, when to be dormant and re-charge, when to shed and begin the process to renew.

i need to be able to do this. i seem to be spun up all the time. sometimes that manifests itself in being totally paralyzed, sometimes in manic panic, sometimes in uncontrollable crying jags, but rarely in calm.

that's my goal for the rest of this week, to stay in the calm. to bend like the tree, and to never forget that even in the darkest time, the light is there if i remember to look. ( nod to dumbledore there) ... and i am the light, it's in me. and in you, if i forget that, when i call you - remind me please.

It's all laurens fault.

2006-06-19T10:59:00.000-04:00

i have gone insane ( get again ) for all things Potter.

this is going to end badly....i can't wait.

:)

ok, i know i'm 'that guy'

2006-06-07T00:06:00.000-04:00

that guy who has a cleaning schedule.

i like the house clean. and organized ( duh ). but clean.

i like knowing that anytime day or night, someone could knock on my door and my house is neat. no "here, lemme move that", no "i'm so sorry, i meant to pick that up", no "please excuse the mess". cause, there is no mess.

now, i realize i live alone ( aside from the great shedding machine ) and it's easier to clean up for one but DAMN.

there is a reason for the rantage. stick with me.

i was cleaning out a file cabinet this evening, when my neighbor called and said something along the lines of " (husband) is outside watching the car, and i'm outside talking with some neighbors and drinking some wine, wanna come join me for a cocktail"

me: "fuckin duh"

so, i straighten the mess a wee bit, and head outside.

we're chatting, drinking, i'm watching the breeders run after the 700 toddlers in the neighborhood, and a next door neighbor drives up ( in the mini van of course). her 2 kids come accross the lawn to show us ( well, ME for some reason ) their library books. Mom really is a beautiful woman, but she is d-u-n done. worn smack out.

She's offered a glass of wine, ( again with the fookin duh ) ... so there's the scene, we're all outside "traveler" of wine and chattin.

her kids start to go a little wild, and she invites us to her house so the kids can be insane in their own personal backyard....now i had heard tale of this house, so i needed to see with my own eyes.

now, all this to follow is super bitchy ( i bet you saw that coming ) - because seriously, this woman has her hands full, 2 small children, a waste of space husband, and from a wealthy foreign family, where she is used to be taken care of, not the care taker.

BUT GET BACK LORETTA! ( sidebar, RIP Billy Preston )

That house was a HOT SHITTY MESS. I've, wow - i mean WOW.

stuff EVERWHERE! yes not everYwhere, everwhere.

dirty dishes? check
clean dishes? check
toys everywhere check
dog food on floor? check
dog? NO , they don't have a dog. ( right )
newspapers scattered? check
kitchen island countertops hidden with crap? check
laundry room overflowing with clothes? check

me, taking a silkwood shower and re-vacuuming the house as soon as i got back.

big. fuckin. check.

( then i did the swiffer duster, febreezed the house, & straightened up again just to balance the neighborhood chi)

{ with all that bitchiness said, i really do feel sorry for her, she's gotta be completely overwhelmed, bless her heart ( that was a genuine heart blessing, just so you know ) }

They say it's your birthday.

2006-06-02T23:36:00.000-04:00

Well, I say it's mine.

And I gotta say 36 has started off well ( and as Christel poined out 3+6=9 , and in our little world that's a good thing ).

I've been spoiled by the physical gifts from my friends, and calls and letters of love. I've gotten Roses, Gerber Dasies (in the cutest vase {that is SCREAMING to hold knitting needles}), a cake delievered to my door ( yeah, you read that right ), CD's, knitting stuff, and love. Lots and Lots of love.

I got handmade cards by the goddaughters ( and if you don't LOVE that, you're dead on the inside and I can't help you )

A very nice start to what I've decided will be a very good year.

More Love, Less Fear.

More Faith, More Questions.

More Friends, Less Foes.

More Caring What I Think, Less Caring What You Think.

Not ONE MORE MOMENT of letting the Assholes get me down.

I'm a lucky girl. I have friends that I love, that love me right back. And it's Sweet.

************************************************************************
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you
I needed the shelter of someone's arms,
there you were
I needed someone to understand my ups and downs,
there you were

With sweet love and devotion
Deeply touching my emotion
I want to stop and thank you baby
I want to stop and thank you baby (yes I do)
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you

I close my eyes at night
Wondering where would I be without you in my life
Everything I did was just a bore
Everywhere I went it seems I'd been there before
But you brighten up for me all of my days
With a love so sweet in so many ways

I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you
You were better to me than I was to myself
For me, there's you and there ain't nobody else

I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you

This year I'd like

2006-05-31T21:46:00.000-04:00

an actual stamp that says "sucker"

'cause i'd like to see what others see, and by others, i mean men.

There are 2 men i have to take shit from.
1. Jesus.
2. My daddy.

It's been my experience that Jesus doesn't hand out much shit, and right now dad isn't doing it either. So that leaves the rest of you.

So, I got stood up (again) for my "birthday dinner" with X. Note I said "again". This part of it is my mistake. He should have been dead to me at stand up #1. My day was going along just fine. Felt cute - rockin a new kicky haircut, makeup looked good, and I was looking forward to the best burger and ice cold beer marietta georgia had to offer. And I'm sitting on the sofa reading a Sylvia Browne book ( shut up, they're actually really interesting if you're into the psychic stuff like I am ) and i'm reading, reading, reading.

5:00
5:15
5:30

now, x and i are casual about most dates, after work means, yes this is the day we're going out - and i'll ( meaning he ) will call as soon as he hits the car after work ( like 5:01) and we'll finalize etc.

at 6:00, i call him. voice mail. I hang up. 6:01 he calls back "i'm still at the office" me, " you didn't know that was going to happen at 5?" - him, all mopy and blah, says can i call you later, i could use a friend to talk to.

REALLY!?!?

I just got stood up for my FUCKING BIRTHDAY, and you need someone to talk to.

I had an offer for a first date with who is i'm sure a nice enough guy, but i said NO, I have plans. I didn't realize at that time that the plans were going to be for me to be cooking supper and walking the dog alone. And crying, big ugly cry - the I ACTUALLY CALLED MY MOTHER ABOUT IT cry.

Now, I know that he has to at least go into the active shunning pile now. ( and was THIS close to giving lola his cell phone number ) , I also know I have to figure out what is wrong with me.

I don't let women friends treat me like shit, or talk to me in any kinda way. But I let men.

Men consistently ( and no, i don't mean you) disappoint me, and yet, I feel like I need one to be 'complete'.

I'm so scared of never being married, never having a family of my own. But I don't think I believe in marriage. I know of almost none that work out.

I'm scared of being the crazy dog lady, with little teeny dogs that she pushes around in a stroller.

I'm scared I already met "the" guy - and missed him 'cause I was looking the other way. I'm scared that cause of REALLY bad choices I made, my karma ( and maybe dharma ) is so fucked up that I won't be 'allowed' a mate.

What if Al Green dies before a man I love dances with me at one of his concerts?

What if I never get to hold my baby girl and dance around the den to "Tupelo Honey"?

What if this is as good as it's ever going to be?

It's summer.

2006-05-28T22:41:00.000-04:00

wanna know how i know,

1. it's hotter than the hammered down hinges of hell
2. people with NO business wearing tank tops are wearing them
and most importantly
3. i bought the first watermelon of the season today, and it's in the icebox right now getting good and cold for the cook out. ( note i did NOT say bbq...but that's another blog for another day )

now what i need is the soundtrack for summer 2006.

your input is requested...
so far i'm thinking of

Tempted, Squeeze ( notice it's on every list i make?)
Rand McNally, Jason Mraz
Tell Me Something Good, Chaka Khan
Under the Boardwalk, The Drifters?
Goodbye Earl, Dixie Chicks
Waterloo, ABBA
Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani
September, Earth Wind & Fire
Sir Duke, Stevie Wonder
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy, Big & Rich

but i need MORE MORE MORE....please hit me with your ideas, and maybe i'll beg and plead and lola will make me a mix cd.

so this summer...

2006-05-26T20:43:00.000-04:00

I'm not even gonna try to tan.

Cause seriously, I can't do it. It's like quantum physics...as in I can't do that either.( and i'm not even sure that i spelled it right )

I know some people who can tan beautifully ( read: Stacey ) but me, I have 3 different skin shades.

1. Snow White (seriously, i'm SO white)
2. Painful lobster red
3. Peeling, and really, that's a dead sexy look

I'm normally so totally ok with my uber-paleness. I've even learned how to make it work for me, but somewhere around late april of every year, when it starts to get warm here in the deep south, the siren song of the tanned skin calls out to me. Most years I foolishly listen and start the summer off in a shade not unlike a homegrown mater.

But, not this year. This year, I'm surrendering to it. I'm pale, fair, pasty, whatever name you want for it. I'm not getting in a tanning bed, i'm not mystic orange tanning, i'm not putting on anything less that 45spf on when i'm outside at the pool, and no less that 30 for everyday wear ( just like everyday)... now june will be like january.

And i'm going to quit wishing for different.

Like Will Smith said in Men in Black, "I make this look good"

i've had the blues, the reds, and the pinks.

2006-05-24T00:12:00.000-04:00

...ah, love.

a portal into hell ( i said portal ).

i have many people in my life going thru many phases of the romantic love 'thang' ( and NO i WILL NOT take the pins out of the doll, so tell him to quit asking - in fact i'm pretty sure lola is adding more as we speak, and i'm not above getting colleen involved )

but with that said, why am i jealous of a friend's love, and sad on the loss of another friends love....and why do i wanna find mine so damn bad? and i'm finding myself listening to these 'longing' songs...and i wanna sing and feel the 'in love' songs. i wanna get married and have babies and all that irritating crap ( MINUS the minivan ) why can't i have it. i'm having YET another birthday next week and i think i'm running out of time until "spinster" is an appropriate adjective.

It's not easy being green....er, fat.

2006-05-19T13:52:00.000-04:00

Not green and fat. Just fat.

Actually it's not that hard to be fat, it is sometimes hard for the non-fat world to accept the fat.

Now, no worries, this isn't a woe unto me, woe to the fat girl blog.

Cause anyone who knows me, knows i'm pretty cool with who i am...but this afternoon i noticed something interesting. I was online looking for my daily dose of fashion, beauty, and hair articles. I wanted to look up some stuff bout the 'big boned girl', so i foolishly typed "BBW" into the seach engine. BLAMO, it's a porn hootnanny. Now, while i'm not a prude by any measure, I was more interested in a REAL string of pearls rather than ... well you know. As I scrolled down the list of websites, a blub for one particiular site caught my eye. The site was "Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ". This was their "definition" of BBW.

BBW, an initialism for "Big Beautiful Woman", denotes an attractive, self-confident "woman of size". BBWs are also the focus of a subculture with interests centered on the acceptance, support, and admiration of obese women. Exceptionally large women are called SSBBWs, with the SS standing for "super size". The term "BHM," which stands for "big handsome man," is not nearly as prevalent as the term "BBW."

Men who are attracted to BBWs are known as "chubby chasers," "fat admirers," or simply "having a fat fetish." Some of these men are attracted exclusively to BBWs, while others are simply attracted to good-looking women regardless of size.

The term BBW spread rapidly via the Internet during the 1990s. Although the original meaning of BBW was restricted to attractive full-figured women, the term has largely been corrupted to refer to any full-figured or overweight woman, whether she is attractive or not.

Most BBW websites are pornographic, and feature women who are barely overweight to those who are morbidly obese.

BBW has many near-synonyms with varying shades of meaning. "Rubenesque" (referring to the art of Peter Paul Rubens , known for portraying full-bodied women) is probably the closest synonym. "Full figured" has a more straightforward connotations, whereas "voluptuous" and "zaftig" usually connote ripeness, sensuality, ample bust and wide hips.

I think you can tell what parts of this article bothered me. First that there has to be a name given to men who would DARE to find a fat chick cute. How about just being able recognize that a woman is cute. The same way a redhead, or blonde, or brunette, or anyone else can be cute - without having a title.

and that BBW is mostly found in porn sites. Seriously, that makes me tired.

Creamy Bible Goodness aka. Phone fun with Tasty.

2006-05-16T20:56:00.000-04:00

2 women on the phone shrieking with laugher, and the woman on the other end of the phone says to me some of my favorite words “you are the funniest girl I know, write this down”

we decided we’d work together and combine the funny while following on the theme of the evening. As you may or may not know, we’re both Jesus freaks…both in an Anne lamott kinda way – mine is a little more new agey, (Stacey’s {I am talking about Stacey here} is a wonderful headpin of conservative written in red Jesus-ness …. And allowing her inner new age nightmare that is pushing her way out..) Anyway, as the Lord has the best sense of humor going and as we turned to the scripture, we found the funny.

The bible is a great source of guidelines, parables, Truths, and just plain ol’ good ideas. Here’s one of ‘em … and how men with their simple minds, limit what a great guideline this little nugget of scripture tells us.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[b]? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my 14Do not be yoked together people." 2 Corinthians 6:14 (New International Version)

Now among the folks down here in the buckle of the bible belt – that is taken to mean strictly that a believer should not marry a non believer – since it’ll never work out ….and in theory it’s not an awful idea – BUT I know many a husband that say, refuses to eat mushrooms, and yet the wife loves em…and little by little sneaks ‘em in there – and before you know it – folks, we got us a mushroom eater. I think you’ll find Jesus can work the same way – but that’s a different story for a different day.

Stacey and I giggled about “equally yoked”….and of course we had our own definitions of “equally yoked”

1. You should have equal vocabulary skills. Example: At the last numbers summit, a boy called my house and I made a wise crack ( insert shock here ) and started giggling, he didn’t get what I was laughing about and I said “never mind, it was just a euphemism” his response. “ I don’t know what euphemism means.” Seriously, do we need a better example?

2. Sometimes we find the deepest truths in movies. Case in point “What about Bob?” Here’s the nugget of wisdom than can help determine yoked-ness. “ there are 2 kinds of people in the world, those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don’t”

3. Operate under the belief that white people can/should sing the blues? ( and sidebar, I’m not convinced that Taylor Hicks ain’t black, and I mean that as a very good thing)

4. Are you the kinda person that says “bless you” when someone, ANYONE sneezes? I think you can tell a lot about a person with this simple nicety.

5. Are both people clinically depressed moody motherfuckers? Cause seriously, if you are, it won’t work. One person needs to be stable. Trust me.

So these are a FEW of my examples of “equally yoked” …. Think I’ll be asked to teach VBS this summer?

all things considered.....

2006-05-14T22:42:00.000-04:00

this was a good week.

my favorite cousin ( with wife ) was in town this weekend. lemme say this, my cousin married well. cause she's SO one of us.

let me relay my very favorite example.

L is a 1st grade teacher, but NOT the theme sweater, jumper wearin', squishy type of teacher. she's a rock star training the next generation of rock stars. she has the right idea about recess. her theory states that recess is for playing so unless you're either A. bleeding or B. barfing - do NOT go bother her during that time. And to this end, she has a custom made baseball cap to wear during this magical time.

On the front it says "NO" and on the back it says "GO PLAY"

God. i love that girl

We ate and ate ( cause while they're thin ... we're still related, and we gotta eat ) and we also went to a store that's like porn for us OCD organizers .... The Container Store. It's like labeled crack. She and I went around that store squeeeeeeeeling like schoolgirls and saying 'look at this box! it has a place RIGHT HERE for the label....a built in place. It's what heaven must be like.... clear plastic boxes and totally organized closets.

And while my poor cousin had to be in classes, L and I went to the zoo. We took bets in the car for who could knock down more kids and what the price points were for each child injured. Good Times. It was Panda-o-Rama day. We spent lots and lots of quality time with those beautiful creatures, and the female may be pregnant ( this of course was not our responsibility - but a point of interest )...and they had goats in the petting zoo. We know how much i love the wee goat.

They came to back to my house to meet mike and to go to dinner with mom....MUCH laughing.

How much do i love the MUCH laughing?!?! a whole bunch lot, that's what.

and today, today was mother's day. a very nice one in the world of allie, had lunch with the folks, mom loved her present... and then we went to the Indian Festival in Canton, GA. We haven't been there in several years, was wonderful - beautiful dances, fantastic drum circles, and say it with me FRY BREAD.

and, daddy bought me a beautiful pair of earrings - a total suprize...and totally appreciated.

Weekend Round Up.

2006-05-07T22:16:00.000-04:00

This weekend we celebrated my oldest Goddaughter’s birthday. I can’t believe she’s 10 years old. I remember when she was soo very wee and tiny…sigh ( insert voice over singing “sunrise, sunset” here ). I'm really proud of the young lady she's turning into. I like to think it's cause of me, but her mom has done her fair share too...and yeah, her daddy isn't terrible either.

The party was fantastic and in a very cool place that I can’t believe I didn’t think of. It’s a fantastic boutique, and get this idea….the kids went upstairs where they had a salon. The girls got their hair done, then makeup, then manicures, then they had a Mariah Carey size closet of clothes and accessories to dress up with THEN… they had ‘fashion’ pictures taken and went down to the boutique and did a fashion show …. I mean seriously, could I BE more into this crap?? You know I was checking out all the ‘dos and makeup…these girls were so freaking cute….( and we ALL know I wanted in that beauty salon’s chair and to get some glitter sprayed in my hair too! )

And today I went to breakfast with ohrob this morning. It’s really odd, I’m not sure if we’re trying to be friends or if we’re working up towards dating again or what – but I do know I like going out to breakfast on a Sunday morning … so I’m taking it as what it is…just breakfast.

I had a couple nights of great conversation with a new boy last week – but nothing since, so I’m assuming he’s dead – cause seriously, what other reason could there be ( SHUT UP)

But on the other hand, my favorite cousin and his wife are going to be in Atlanta this week on both business and pleasure so I’ll get to see them some, and we can sit around and wonder how we’re related to the rest of the family – cause DAMN, we’re nothing like them.

And let’s take a moment and welcome my friend Shawn back home. He completed his tour of duty with the Georgia National Guard in Iraq, and made it back home safe and sound back to Georgia soil today. Welcome home baby boy.

2 in one day

2006-05-05T16:15:00.000-04:00

so read below for a quasi-real post ...

this is not - but i love it

allison! --
[adjective]:

100% kinky

'How" will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com

i love the smell of a rant in the late afternoon.

2006-05-05T15:44:00.000-04:00

people, i wish i didn't have to do this.

cause we're all adults, (or at least pretenting) to be here.

and as such, i'm going to make a demand/statement/commandment.

THOU SHALL NOT USE ONLINE ABBREVIATIONS WHEN YOU CHAT/EMAIL ME.

i came accross some blog and i have a friend who chats with me in abbreviations. now, as much as i hate it, i can take a 'lol' here and there.

THIS however i can't take. "how r u?" R U? what the hell is that? i promise i'm worth the extra letters, so ask me "how are you"....that question will get answered.

so all of that crap.

stop it.

here is the one exception.

xoxo,
allie

SCOTLAND FOREVER!

2006-04-29T23:58:00.000-04:00

STUART
Listen, Sonny Jim, it's a known fact there's a society of the five wealthiest people in the world, called the Pentaverate, who run everything and meet three times a year at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as "The Meadows."

CHARLIE
(sarcastic)
And that's obviously why we haven't heard about it in the newspapers.

STUART
(inappropriately angry & loud)
That's right. They fuckin' own the papers, smartass. And everything else. Why do you think Scotland's not been able to get independence? Because the Queen the Pentavirate
and those English dome heads in West Minster won't have it.

CHARLIE
Who are the other members of this pentaverate?

STUART
The Queen, the Rothchilds, the Gettys, the Vatican, and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with his wee beady eyes. And that smug look on his face.

CHARLIE
Dad how can you hate "the Colonel?"

STUART
Because the Colonel puts an addictive chemical in it that makes you crave it fortnightly.

wise words from the creek.

2006-04-26T09:29:00.000-04:00

so i'll admit it here. i still sometimes watch "dawson's creek" i know it's trite - but jimmy crack corn, i don't care.

today joey's HAWT profressor ( from the old MTV sketch comedy show "the state", also was grace's 11 { 5 on one, 1/2 dozen on the other } boyfriend on will and grace, and has been on a couple of episodes of "Reno 911" {maybe the funniest show on tv, but that's another blog} ... anyway, he said something good "always stay on a first name basis with who you used to be"

i like that, cause lately like say the last couple of years, i'm not the girl i used to be. i feel like i can see her, and still recognize who she is, but the "me" now is closed off, not trusting, and scared.

those are 3 things that i NEVER would think that i would use to describe me, but it's kinda how i feel now and i'm tired of it. i'm not sure how to change it, without going "back" i don't wanna take steps backwards....i need to find how to be happy right here and right now, and stop worrying about the future and the past - i used to do that well, but let's face it the last year or so has been just plain awful ... and i 'm having a bitch of a time getting past it. but i am actively working on it, so i guess that's not nothing, and as of late, i remembered how to cry ( may sound like nothing, but i haven't been able to do it for a month or so.....tear back up is like orgasm backup, in that they are both BAD bidnesss)

on another front, it's wednesday, which means it's mom and allie hang out morning ( i first typed that 'hand out' morning - which is accurate too ) so that should be good - at the very least, i sure could use the company. and mike will appreciate 'grandma' being here, he's sick of my fat ass ... but since he's a dog, and can't speak to it - and still hasn't learned to unload the dishwasher, he'll just have to deal.

(note, entry not typed in word, no spell check involved in the production of this entry ...so you'll just have to deal too )

callback: i still think pacey, from the creek ... is way hot. just sayin',

yeah that's right, i'm almost 36 and called him way hot. shut up :)

tivo adventures

2006-04-25T08:53:00.000-04:00

so last night i was chatting with a friend and said how i need to blog...but didn't know what to say - he said "just write" ( or something like that ) my initial reaction was "just bite me". but now it's morning - i have coffee, and maybe a thing or two to say.

1. while i was waiting for the coffee to do it's magic in the machine this morning - i flipped on the tv, then looked to see what i had stored in the ol' tivo machine. the gathering of shows lined up made me laugh, it went a little something like this...
1. (2) episodes of "aqua teen hunger force"
2. (3) episodes of "family guy"
3. a show on last night about that defeo guy who killed his entire family ( the amityville horror killings)
4. a show about a serial killer who buried people in his backyard
5. oprah
6. the dog whisperer ( tex has never heard of this )
7. a henry rollins ( YUM, DAMN!) spoken word performance
8. office space
9. coal miner's daughter

choices, choices, choices .... so we have cartoons, serial killers, dog training, rants, and the first lady of country music.

2. is it too early for a nap?

online translator fun!

2006-04-23T20:37:00.000-04:00

'cause i love me some lo-retta.

*******************************************
what peggy sue's momma wrote...

You've come to tell me something you say I ought to know
That he don't love me anymore and I'll have to let him go
You say you're gonna take him
oh but I don't think you can
Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man
Women like you they're a dime a dozen you can buy 'em anywhere
For you to get to him I'd have to move over and I'm gonna stand right here
It'll be over my dead body so get out while you can
Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man

Sometimes a man start lookin' at things that he don't need
He took a second look at you but he's in love with me
Well I don't know where they leave you oh but I know where I'll stand
And you ain't woman enough to take my man
Women like you they're a dime...No you ain't woman enough to take my man

***********************************
and now one time in french ( or in freedom if you will)...and i have NO idea if i'm breaking up the sentences correctly.... so let's deal.

Vous êtes venu pour me dire
quelque chose que vous dites je dois savoir
qu'il ne m'aiment plus et je aie dû le laisse partir vous vous dire
aille lui prendre l'OH mais je ne pense pas que vous pouvez vous
causer n'est pas femme assez pour prendre mes femmes d'homme
comme vous elles êtes un dixième de dollar par douzaine vous pouvez
acheter l''fin de support n'importe où pour vous pour lui obtenir
je devrais déplacer fini et je vais tenir la droite ici elle sera au-dessus
de mon corps mort ainsi sortez tandis que vous pouvez vous causer
n'est pas femme assez pour prendre à mon homme
\parfois un lookin de début d'homme 'aux choses

ax lesquelles il n'a pas besoin de lui a jeté un deuxième
coup d'oeil vous mais lui est dans l'amour avec moi bon moi
ne sait pas où ils vous laissent l'OH
mais je sais où je me tiendrai et vous n'est pas
assez femme pour prendre mes femmes d'homme comme
vous elles êtes un dixième de dollar... Aucun vous n'est pas assez femme pour prendre mon homme
*********************

and back to english .... kinda

_ you be come to me say something
that you say I must know that it me like more and I have must it let leave you
yourself say go him take the OH but I think not that you can yourself cause be not woman enough to take my wife of man
as you they be a tenth of dollar per dozen you can buy the ' end of support anywhere
for you to him obtain I should move finish and I go hold the line here
it be above of my dead-man mort thus leave while you can yourself
cause be not woman enough to take with my man

things with which it does not need him threw a second glance you
but is to him good in the love with me
me does not know where they leave you the OH but I know where I will be held
and is not to you enough woman to take my wives of man as you they are a tenth of dollar... No is to you enough woman to take my man

when ya got nothin - meme.

2006-04-19T13:44:00.000-04:00

Accent – I have a wonderful southern accent. It gets stronger as I get more tired, but I do love it. I think southern accents are FANTASTIC. Not scary hillbilly accents, but a nice soft southern drawl works every time. "Darlin" said the right way can stop wars, soothe cranky babies, make men open their wallets, and fling panties right off! My accent is a mix of North Carolina Piedmont and north/central Georgia.

Booze of choice – Depends on what I’m doing. I La-hove bourbon but I’m also a beer girl, a pitcher of shiner and a burger make allie a happy girl

Chore I hate – The hands and knees cleaning of the floor. Hate it hate it hate it.

Dog or Cat – Duh. Dogs, I’d be the crazy dog lady if I had the space, I love my own personal pupper, and hope to add to the family in the next couple of years.

Essential electronics – Anything that plays music. I can live without tv, but I’d die without music.

Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s) – I tend to wear essential oils more than perfume, I love amber, ginger ( shut up christel ) jasmine, those kinda things – my current shower gel is the B&BW ginger and verbena and shampoo/conditioner is origins ginger. I smell great, feel like crap – but smell great.

Gold or Silver? – Yes..

Hometown – Marietta, Georgia. Home of the Big Chicken. (but all my people are from Charlotte, North Carolina so i claim that too )

Insomnia? – More often that I’d like. But that’s life right? Besides, I do love an infomercial.

Job Title – Title free.

Kids? - I love kids, they taste like chicken

Living Arrangement – Homeowner, of the cleanest house in the world, with the best yard on the block.

Most admired trait - I listen. And I’m a great friend. ( and the rack of course)

Number of Sexual Partners – Define sex.

Overnight Hospital Stays - None

Phobia – Clowns. Stepping into a pair of shoes and discovering there’s a spider in them - this may explain my love of the flip flop.

Quote – What do I do for a living? I don’t fuck it up. // I used to give a damn, but now they have a patch for that

Religion – New age/ Progressive Christian

Siblings – None by blood, several sisters by choice. ( yes that includes the main gays)

Time I wake up – usually about 7:30. but on the weekends, I’ll go back to sleep.

Unusual talent/skill – I dunno.

Vegetable I refuse to eat – THE DREADED GREEN PEPPER.

Worst habit – not being happy with what ‘is’. Always wanting more.

X-rays – a few, always of the broken right ankle ( 3 x’s )

Yummy foods I make – child, I’m fat and southern, what CAN’T I cook. I rock the kitchen.

Zodiac sign – Gemini

In the name of love.

2006-04-18T17:14:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a WHOLE lot about God lately.
I guess that's normal what with Easter, Passover, and the bounty ofspring in front of me ( and it's pollen all over me, but that's another story for another day )

I've watched just about every second of "God or the girl" on A&E thisweek. My first reaction is these people are crazy, literally crazy. But then I realized I was a little jealous. They are confident oftheir faith, and have no questions about it. The men portrayed have questions about how to act on that faith, but not the faith itself. (not to say that they're not still a little bit crazy…just crazy with a serious belief system that holds them when things are great and whenthey suck )

I have questions about what I believe, what I have faith in, how to show that faith, and what is 'right'. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm middle aged now ( on the YOUNGER side of it… but still ) and I guess a time for questions and reflection is common as I wonder what I'm going to do with the rest of my life and look back on these last 35 years.

I consider myself a bit of a new age nightmare, a mutt of many belief systems. I know some people think I'm totally wrong for that, that there is 'only' one way – and if I don't believe the way they do, I'm lost. Maybe it's easier for them. There are no questions, they know their answer, and all they have to do is what is written in red. I hate so much what the religious right has done to Christianity and I think Jesus is FANTASTIC, but his people suck. I told Stacey the otherday that Jesus needs better handlers, and while talking about it with my mom the other day, she thought that Jesus wouldn't like what hispeople were doing these days either.I did the quiz on beliefnet.com and came up 100% neo-pagan, then something like 96% Unitarian universalist, and 94% new thought. Which only kinda makes sense, I've been going to a Christian New Thought church for about 13 years now off and on. Lately more off than on. At first it was more of a question of the humans running the church –lately it's a question of me and God.

hum.

2006-03-31T11:31:00.000-05:00

i had someone mention that i seem angry.

and that irritates me.

i mean, i know i'm generally the happy, silly, "look at me i'm a monkey", kind of girl. i manage my depression, and don't talk about it that often. it's really nobody's baggage but mine to carry, so i don't ask anyone else to deal with it.

i don't think i'm an angry person, i am a person that has a lot going on in her life. this has been a terrible year. looking for new work, losing my grandfather, being disappointed in friends, having to rely on others for support, realizing that this month i should have had a baby...and so on.

so i wrote a rant about my neighbors, hell i'm home right now, it's what i know. when people write about co-workers...no one says "you seem angry" they acknowledge that their work environment sucks at the moment, well guess what? mine does too.

i'm just asking to be given the benefit of the doubt. I've been reminded about all this "free time" i have, and how "now you just need to get work", and "have you looked for work today?" and so on. do me a favor, think this all you want, talk amongst yourselves, but don't say it to me. it's painful. believe me i've sent out 9 million resumes ( literally ) and i'm doing the very best i can. I'd appreciate not being judged.

thanks kids.

The Classics Never Die

2006-03-29T20:18:00.000-05:00

We're knee deep in spring here in the deep south, and the flip flops are acomin' out...this brings me to today's post.

I think i post this about once a year, and it bears repeating ( and if you know me, you know my feet are ALWAYS summer shoe ready....and yours SHOULD be as well)

Summer Shoe Pledge
Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes.

*I promise to always wear sandals that fit.

*My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

*I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

*I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

*I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

*I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it the real good.

*If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

*I will not live in corn denial, rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholls if my feet need him.(of course if you maintain your feet - you won't NEED the friendly doctor)

*I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

*I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

*If I have been privvy to the magic that is Foot Soup, I will share that knowledge and experience with the non-initiated. ( i have not been privy, however i AM a HUGE fan of slathering your feet in shea butter and wrapping them in saran wrap, then socks and sleep....you'll have amazing feet)

*I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

This is my summer shoe pledge to you.

lookit, an update.

2006-03-28T19:17:00.000-05:00

a neighborhood rant.

for you.

Neighbor #1.

MOW YOUR GODDAMN YARD. seriously, it's like what 18 inches high now. MOW IT

Neighbor #2

Your tent, patio thing, whatever it's called; blew down in the storm LAST FUCKIN WEEK. seriously, last week, fix it or toss it, i don't care which, but do something about it.

Cul-de-sac people

You have backyards. you have fences ... can you see where this is headed. GET IN THE YARD AND OUT OF THE STREET.

More Cul-de-sac people

1. We have gas lamps, we have them for a reason, i didn't WANT to have to spend $700 bucks to get mine replaced, but we moved into a neighborhood with a HOMEOWNER'S ASSOCIATION. The lamps are required, frekin fix em.

2. You may notice this big room attached to your house. It's big enough to fit 2 cars. CARE TO TAKE A GUESS AT WHAT IT'S FOR?? Clean out your frekin garage and put your cars in them, know how much better the place would look if you did?!

3. I appreciate that you wanna listen to music while you work in the yard, hell, i do it too .... however, get this skippy, maybe i DON'T wanna listen to lynard skynard full tilt at 9am on a saturday. and really, if you have a leaf blower goin... you're not gonna hear it anyway. i've lived in the south ALL MY LIFE, believe me when i tell you - the radio station WILL play " sweet home alamama" again, probably within the hour.

Dog Owners.

it's called YOUR YARD. that is where they shit.

ok, i think i'm done for now.

( oh, and the next person who refers to this time of my life as 'free time' as in, well now you have all this 'free time'....i will see that your are cut.)

lazy sunday

2006-03-26T09:43:00.000-05:00

i plan on being lazy today.

does anyone else do that?

i know people plan to say paint the house, or mow the yard, or or or.

i plan on doing pretty much nothing today. lola and i talked last night and it seems that turquoise toes are the color for the week, so i'll paint my toenails ( but not fingers to match ) i'm sure i'll shower, but yeah. that's about it.

i see the sofa and a book happening. if i had a hammock, the call would be for a hammock and a book. ( hint, birthday is in june, a hammock would be great ) but then so would the cash equlivalent)

i'm sure i'll jinx myself by saying such a thing, it always seems that when i do - it turns out that i have 9,000,000 million things come up that MUST be handled ....and usually that's fine. i'm doing better now that i usually keep really really busy - the busy helps with the depression and the sidenote is my house looks fantastic.

i know this entry is rambly and awful, but i'm working thru some major life changes in my head, that i'm not ready to post about for all the world to see yet - so it's making thinking about anything else kinda difficult.

but thank god for vh-1 .... the next episode of the surreal life will be on in a couple of hours, and i can focus on that train wreck instead of the one that is my own personal life.

"May you live in interesting times"

2006-03-24T08:54:00.000-05:00

That's my favorite fortune cookie curse.

this my friends has been an interesting week, and one focused on friends.

during the course of the last week or so i have remembered an old friend, regained a quasi lost friend, learned why a former friend doesn't like me anymore, learned how to forgive, learned how to be a friend just a little bit better, and worked on knowing how not to take it personally.

friendships are funny fickle things. i guess most relationships are. i remember being at a woman's church retreat several years ago and the minister had written a book on relationships. it was mostly focused on loving intimate marriage type relationships - but it really made me think about averaging of relationship i have. i have gone back to her book over and over, and recommended it to friends. one concept she spoke of was either having a relationship that is either holy or hell.

now, if you've known me for .02 seconds, you know i don't mean that in a literal traditional christian sense. i mean it in a what kind of live have you co- created kinda way.

bygones. anyway, her question that we were to reflect on was something along this line. can you really be YOU with someone? do you have to wonder " if i say 'this' will the turn off their love" , " if i disagree, will they walk away", "if i have my own opinion, will they leave".

i've thought about that over and over since that retreat. and this week i've thought about it often when considering my relationship with my friends. i know some people that if you don't like who they don't like, you're an enemy. in my eyes, that's not a friend. that's someone controlling you. who you like and who you don't. and when i say they're controlling you - really, you're allowing them to do with you what they will. and believe me, if you do this - they WILL toss you away as soon as your testicles drop and you grow the fuck up.

i have also known ( and maybe been ) people that cannot have a disagreement without it getting very ugly and very personal. i by NO means want to say that i don't take things personally, i take them VERY personally - but i like to think that i take a moment or two and toss on the big girl panties before i react to it. i have found that as i get older, my reactions are less severe, and i think ALL are thankful for that.

i've been luckily in my life with friends, no doors have ever been locked shut by me. i've known people to slam them shut lock them and walk away forever. to me this seems so selfish and stupid and narrow minded. it seems so silly that grown fuckin ass women with husbands, kids, jobs, and seeming controllable mental health issues would spend such time working on being mad. i just don't have that kind of time or energy.

my friends are precious to me. i'd love to think that i'm enlightened enough to say that my love for friends that i've chosen and have chosen me is unconditional - but i don't think that's quite true yet, it is something i'm working toward and can see happening. i've been to be hurt to the bones, or disappointed, or feel taken advantage of, or under appreciated - just like everyone else - and everyday i'm getting better about talking about what happened instead of either screaming about it - or just walking away in a huff and slamming the door on the friend and the friendship.

back to the retreat. when i think of friends i surround myself with lately - i know i am lucky. and i know we have chosen a 'holy' relationship.

so if you're in my life. i thank you and i want you here. if you used to be in my life, thank you for your time then. and if we're about to be friends - i can't wait!

lipgloss, nail polish, shoes, purses, makeup....

2006-03-14T21:38:00.000-05:00

I have a new addiction.

I am totally addicted to those organization shows.

Clean House – I have 10 loaded in TIVO ready to go…( it's the best one out there...)

Mission Organization – love it

Clean Sweep – all about it.

Since I’ve had more time lately, I’m a cleaning freak. Seriously, a couple of hours a day… at last count, I’ve been to goodwill 16 times this year, I’ve mowed the yard something like 4 times already.

But how did I know it was bad……real bad…..like get a therapist bad?

I found myself pricing LABEL MAKERS.

I want one, real REAL REAL bad.

I cleaned out the garage last week – and while I was hanging stuff up – I could help but think….if I had a label maker, I could have one over the nail for the straw broom, one for the plastic broom, one for the red rake, one for the blue….

I was in a label making fantasy haze – until the dog looked at me as if to say “bitch, please”

…..but I still want one.

That being said. I have the cleanest, most organized, house in the world. ( and as much as I fuckin HATE to admit it ) I have to add it to the list of things that make me like my mother.

2 other home show favorites... and IN order.

Flip This House

Flip THAT House

( this entry based entirely on television shows is dedicated to my main gays and their gift of TIVO last christmas)

could i BE more tired.

2006-03-04T19:10:00.001-05:00

today was international ( or at least inter-marietta ) work in the yard day. and every part of my body hurts. i got in the shower afterwards and GOODLORD - the water hurt.

wow.

but my yard looks hot. so we like that.

oh and and and

Coal Miner's Daughter is on Turner South.

Good looking yard and my favorite movie on tv.

good times.

*************************************************************************************************

still troubles in the boy department, rob is gone, and the lonely is kickin in...but i guess that's bound to happen.

and trouble is brewing on the other front, that relationship may be dead too... i dunno. i guess time will tell.

*************************************************************************************************

so the updates today are few, nails look hot, good movie on, yard looks good - and i'm going to try a new church tomorrow.

maybe next week will be better than this past week.

.... hell, St. Patrick's Day is coming - and i sho' do love the high holy day.

do you know the way to san jose?

2006-03-01T08:56:00.000-05:00

i dunno why i picked that title, i wasn't really thinking of dionne warwick and her psychic friends...but i did watch Madagascar the other day and it makes mention of the zoo there, so maybe that was still floating in my noggin.

there's a whole lot, and a whole lot of nothing going on lately. there have been some changes at home. i'm trying to decide if i stay in atlanta or move to charlotte. there are major pros and cons for each, and i don't know which way to turn at the moment. i guess i don't have to know, but i wish i could just the same.

******

i love LOVE the show "starting over" i think it's a train wreck that i can't help but slow down to look at. one thing about it really makes me laugh, or giggle, or just feel superior. and that is the language and vocabulary they use on that show. they speak of being authentic, accountibility, living your truth, having open dialogue and communication. my friends and i speak of those things too - but we call it "putting on your big girl panties"

i myself have personally had to wear my big girl panties far too much recently - and for those of you who are familiar with the Sweet Potato Queens know that means i'm ready for a party cause we know that you "never wear panties to a party" life has been very hard and kicking me ( and several people i know ) in the ass lately - and we need a break. a break with some fruity drinks, cabana boys, sunshine, and beach music.
or at least a hammock and a snow cone machine. ( i am currently free of both, since i frekin dropped my snowcone machine { which for those of you familiar with southern sayings IS in fact just like dropping my basket } and i never had a hammock - but DAMN i want one )

i'm in a big lonely place right now, which are becoming more common than they used to be. i think it's not because i'm more lonely now than i've been in the past - i think it's because the 'wall' i had around me is really starting to come down. and only because it's too much work to keep it up there all the time.

i also think it's because of the loss of a friend. they're not dead or anything. but it seems the code has been called on the relationship and it's flatlined. i didn't realized that it bothered me ( or maybe wasn't able to admit it ) until christel called me on it the other night {when we were SUPPOSED to be figuring out how to help lola, NOT me!} but she's right. being dumped hurts pretty much no matter the relationship, friend, lover, whatever.

also, the sun has set on the new boy. it seems we can hang for about 5 months, which seems to be the deal breaker time. i think i'm really gonna miss what i thought he was. i guess that's true for my lost friend too - one thing i've often said is "if you can walk away from me, keep walkin"

but man, it hurts when they actually do.

Jesus, Mary, & Sweet St. Joseph

2006-02-24T22:41:00.001-05:00

aka

Jesus Jumped Up Christ
Jesus Surfin on a Ritz
Holy Mary Mother of Pearl
Oh My Good God Damn

and with that i present to you,

the world's greatest fuckmonkey ever.

i rock. ( what don't we already know)

2006-02-20T10:46:00.000-05:00

So I’m the world’s greatest babysitter/godmother….

Wanna know what you missed this weekend?

You may have gone to a swanky dinner, or had a romantic weekend with a cute boy ( or girl if that’s how you roll ) but I bet I had a better time.

My best friend and her hubby had a romantic night planned and asked me to sit for them and watch their kids Saturday – deal! A. cause I adore these kids, and really don’t spend enough time with them … and 4. their parents are staunch republicans, and I take every chance I can to speak to them of their dark ways, and try to bring them to the light J

So anyway, I’m on kid duty Saturday thru Sunday morning…..

So here’s what we did, as soon as we got rid of the parents …

1. pulled open the sofa bed fired up the dvd player and watched “Madagascar” and (god help us ) Spy Kids 3-d. the older kid fired up the microwave and made popcorn and we snuggled in for movies ( now to our credit – it was cold and rainy, so there was no choice to play outside )

2. had a little snackage for dinner, the kids wanted to bathe ( ?? I KNOW) so it was a bath for the wee one, and a shower for the older one …

then onto beauty night…. (which we know i love)

3. Mani’s and pedicures…. Complete with glitter ( of course )

4. Then we did the braiding thing so the girls would have wavy hair the next day…some high quality lounging and then playing, I of course let the girls stay up until they could not hold their faces open, the 5 year old crawled on my lap and we sat there for the longest time ( I knew she was sleepy, but I was loving the cuddle so I kept her there ) finally I said “ are you sleepy” and she just nodded, so I asked “are you ready to go to bed” she said “yesh” all sleepy like so we got up and she took my hand and took me to her room –she crawled right up in that bunkbed and kee-rashed.

So the older one and I hung out – watched some trading spaces, then she was making the sleepy face too– and BAM to bed …

( if only I could have gotten mike to calm down like that, I wanted to KILL that pacing dog )

so Sunday morning, I wake up about 20 minutes before the kids…which is good, cause as y’all know – momma don’t wake up so fast ….

So we’re hangin out for a while, I shower up and get cute ( cause, hey, I’m still me ) then we do the ‘reveal’ of the girls waves …. Was fantastic I must say…

Then I ask, what do you want for breakfast, the smaller one says ‘waffles’ – me I’m thinking, great – eggos I can do that easy peasy – but no, it’s not that easy – she wanted full on alphabet shaped waffles …. Which I of course can do ( what CAN’T I do ) and cause I rock like that – I ask ( foolishly ) would you like CHOCOLATE CHIP WAFFLES?!!? ( answer. Doi )

So I make kick ass waffles ….. and coffee ( coffee for me, and necessary – DID I MENTION THE DOG DIDN’T STOP PACING?)

And as soon as breakfast was done and cleaned up ….. garage door goes up –and parents come home.

Top that people…..Good times.

pot-pour-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2006-02-17T10:09:00.000-05:00

hi kids, it's friday....and this makes me happy - not for any particiular reason, cause all days are fridays. but i'm glad for this.

3. scott stapp and KID ROCK have a sex tape. i mean, i have the same natural curosity of any other person, but EW MISTER! that's just way icky and gross. i think that's one i'm gonna be passing one. ... in fact it makes me never wanna fire up the pink parts again.

r. i have become the queen of knitting - if you ask nice i can make groovy stuff .... well i can make it anayway - if you're nice i can make it for you.

that's all i got for now.

hummmmmmmmmm

2006-02-15T10:20:00.000-05:00

so this is interesting - at least to me.

i saw this on a message board that i read, and i'd like y'alls opinion....

what's the difference between:

hurt and mad?

valentines schmalentines

2006-02-14T20:32:00.000-05:00

So while I may be here all alone, I did get a valentine’s call that was very sweet, and that’s cool.

I’m watching American idol, and that’s always a good way to feel better about one’s self. I’m always amazed at what passes for singing in this country, well, on this show at least – cause DAMN! And I’ve been to MORE than one church production ( hell, I’ve been IN more than one church production of many a show ) …. Anyway, I should re-phrase that, I was on the phone during the entire show, so I “watched” it, but heard nothing. Prolly still the best idea.

**********************************************************************************************

So I was yakkin with christel and talking about an interesting situation that’s going on and she said that ( and I kinda quote ) “ it was easy to go bitchcakes on you, cause you’re close and you’re safe.”

Really?

REALLY?

Not this week, not next week either.

5 deep.

************************************************************************************************
Good moment, I just flipped to Oxygen, and caught the scene in High Fidelity where Jack Black is singing, “let’s get it on”

Good times.

*************************************************************************************************

Oh, and this was funny, when I got to goodwill today – the unload-y man said “hey, you’re back”

The goodwill man knows me.

I can’t make this shitte up.

robot roll call.

2006-02-13T22:27:00.000-05:00

actually like a number roll call.

question of the day....

what color are your toenails painted?

just wonderin'
______________________________________________________________________-

in other news....

the guys at the drop off at goodwill know my name.

seriously.

i have totally become the queen of decluttering my house. it seems that everytime i walk in a room i scan it for what can GO.... cause momma is in a serious cleaning OUT mode .... christine beware - you're leaving me at your house for 24 hours ... God knows what kinda damage i could do with that kinda time.

i have even cleaned out hair products, and dare i say it ( now would be the time to both clutch the pearls AND gasp ) makeup as well as purses ..... i KNOW! really, i KNOW.

but i'm pleased with the results, even greg ( main gay #2 - who NEVER comments on here ) even noticed the kitchen and was "pleased" and you know how i like to please my gays.

so i have another carload ready to take to goodwill tomorrow - seriously - if you want to decorate a house in all kinda cute stuff - get ye to the goodwill near the big chicken here in marietta... cause i can guarentee there's some good stuff in there - just stuff that was done living at my house.

i'm sitting here watching Dr 90210 - i love that stupid show, it's gross and icky and i'm not a fan of fake boobs but i have to watch this show - and when dr. rey cried after being in mexico - all i could hear in my head is ( from will & grace of course) jack singing 'karen has a heart' ...

and speaking of singing - STACEY, front and center

... i DID find myself looking up the words to Fraggle Rock, and have been singing those ALL frekinfraggle day.....(oh and lola, they're called doozers)

Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.

Work your cares away,
Dancing's for another day.
Let the Fraggles play,
We're Gobo, Mokey, Wembley, Boober, Red.

Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.

take that missy :)

really? really??

2006-02-12T22:27:00.000-05:00

remember that scene in "batman" where the joker says, "this town needs an emena?"

yeah, i know a couple of people who could use that.

and here's my advise.

if i'm that easy to walk away from, walk on.

just remember, you walk away from all 5 of us.

and we hold a grudge.

i wanna be like stacey.

2006-02-12T11:11:00.000-05:00

Fine. Now I "Must. Copy. STACEY."

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot.

1. Sarah with No H
2. Just Thoughts
3. I Am Prepared to Give Up at Any Time
4. So Much Myself (co-starring the bandwagon)
5. Cocktails and Smokes

Next, select five people to tag.
1. Lola
2. My Big Gay Life
3. M*ary
4. Madley
5. Amy

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Let's see, in February 1996, I was working for a federal training program and getting ready to move to midtown (garden hills) atlanta with a former best friend … down the street from the infamous “gold club” our very own mafia run strip club. What were you doing 1 year ago?

One year ago this month,
I was enjoying the CRAP outta having my girls here for a numbers summit, laughing, drinking, eating, shopping – and teasing Stacey about dating “the fetus”. Was working at the Atlanta Housing Authority, a god awful place. It’s amazing how poorly people can treat each other on the tax payers dime. Seriously that place is awful, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone – even those I can’t stand and prolly deserve it.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Cream Cheese and Hot Green Pepper Jelly with crackers.
2. Real, stove pop popcorn.
3. chocolate, any form!
4. Christine’s spinach and artichoke dip.
5. Crusty sourdough with real butter.

Five songs you know all the words to:
1. Ice Ice Baby, Vanilla Ice
2. Bat Outta Hell, Meat Load
3. Geek in the Pink, Jason Mraz
4. Am I The Only One, Melissa Etheridge
5. Entire Recording, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Unlike Stacey, I wasn’t kidding about any of these, I have no one genre of music that I stick to - I listen to most all of it… and I’m old enough to be REAL ok wit that!

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Live at the beach.
2.Invest in a spa.
3. Do my best to see if that phrase “money can’t buy happiness is true” – cause I’m pretty sure it’s crap ( say “crap” in the Scottish accent please)
4. Buy plane tickets for all the Numbers to Hawaii for a month of vacation.(ditto)
5. Be debtless.(ditto)

Five bad habits:
1. Staying Mad.
2. Taking crap from people.
3. Overeating.
4. Living in denial.
5. Procrastinating.

Five things you enjoy doing:
1. Hot Baths.
2. Napping.
3. Buying shoes.
4. Reading.
5. Listening to music LOUD with headphones on , in the dark.

Five things you would never wear :
1. Sneakers, for anything but walking the dog.
2. 2 words, holiday FUCKING sweaters
3. Black Hair.
4. Sweatsuits in public.
5. gothic make up.

Five favorite toys(/games):
1. Tivo – yes it IS a toy..
2. CD player
3. My car.
4. Shopping .
5. Making fun of people on E!

grammy, schammy

2006-02-09T09:44:00.000-05:00

ok i'll admit it. i didn't watch th grammy's last night. i flipped around, and did happen to catch Sir Paul.

but i didn't watch the show, this may be one of the first times that has happened.

and today while flipping around on tv, i caught MTV.... and i realized WHY i didn't watch ...... cause the "music' sucks.

i hope that doesn't make me sound like an old lady - but if it does....that's ok too.

i am totally a music junkie, i have it going all the time .... and pretty much every genre of music is there, except WOW - that shit they play on MTV.

and another thing..... i'll say it, i think kanye west sucks donkeys. well, not him personally, but i HATE his music. i don't get why he's the next musical messiah, but whatever.

I looked online at the list of winners last night, and for the most part...i let out a big sigh of ugh, or what?, or who the *&$& is that?

oh well .... i just like to think i don't have the same musical taste of the masses, and to quote martha "it's a good thing"

************************************************************

ok now for a mini tv rant.

how is "the nanny" still on the air.
ditto for "spin city"

*************************************************************

sidebar - Gwen Stefani is about the hottest pregnant lady i've ever seen.

**************************************************************

and because this makes tex thinks less of me, here's a meme.

1.) What time did you wake up this morning?
At 7:30 - because Mike was sitting on my bed staring at me, then licked my face, which is the " I need to go out RIGHT NOW or i'll pee in your favorite shoes" warning.

2) Diamonds or Pearls?
Diamonds - but really just one, i'm not a fan of the cluster ring - one BIG solitare will do me fine thank you.

3) What is the last film you saw at the theatre?
The Family Stone

4) What is your favorite TV show?
Pretty much any show on VH1. or The Office or Earl or STARTING OVER.

5) What did you have for breakfast?
So far, nothing.

6) What is your middle name?
Allison

7) What is your favorite cuisine?
Today, good ol' Southern food

8) What foods do you dislike?
Green Peppers, Celery, Fennel.

9) Your favorite potato chip?
No particular favorite.

10) Your favorite CD at the moment?
Jason Mraz - Mr A-Z

11) What kind of car do you drive?
1999 Honda Accord

12) What characteristics do you despise?
Hypocrisy

13) Are you superstitious?
About some things

14) Favorite item of clothing?
PJ's

15) If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?
Right now, The Beach.....any beach.

16) What color is your bathroom?
Which one?

17) Favorite brand of clothing?
"we fit a fat girl"

18) Where would you retire?
Somewhere with lots of land. or my own private island...

19) Favorite time of day?
4:44pm

20) Where were you born?
San Antonio, Texas

21) Favorite sport to watch?
Baseball .

22) Who do you least expect to get an answer from?
doing as a blog - not an email

23) Who do expect to get this back from first?
It can’t come back, because I’m not sending it.

24) What type of laundry detergent do you use?
Tide with Febreeze.

25) Coke or Pepsi?
Coke

26) Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Usually a morning person, but have reverted to night owl.

27) What size shoe do you wear?
8.5

28) Do you have pets?
LOL!

29) Any new and exciting news you would like to share with your friends?
I got nothing that my people don't know about.

30) What (who) did you want to be when you grew up?
Makeup Artist

31)Favorite candy bar?
Take 5

32)Favorite childhood memory?
laughing with the family.....and sometimes 'at' the family - even then i knew....

33) What are the different jobs you have had in your life?
eh, too many to list

35) Piercings?
Ears only, 4 on right ear, 3 on left

36) Eye color?
Blue / green

37) Ever been to Africa?
No, nowhere that requires shots

38) Ever been toilet papering?
Yes and forking too

39) Ever love someone so much it made you cry?
No. but have cried over love time and again.

40) Been in a car accident?
Yes, a pretty nasty one, and a couple of fender benders.

41) Croutons or bacon bits?
Croutons

42) Favorite day of the week?
Friday

43) Favorite restaurant?
right now - The Vortex, burgers and beer sounds MIGHTY good.

44.) Favorite flower?
White Daisy with a yellow face

45) Favorite ice cream?
Cold Stone, Cake Batter

46) Disney or Warner Brothers?
Both

48)Do you believe in karma?
a LOT - and that's a good thing.

49) How many time did you fail your drivers test?
None

50) Before this one who did you get your last e-mail from?
chicago mary

51) Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Sepohora or Amazon.com

52) What do you most often do when you’re bored?
Read blogs, read books, play with mike, knit. The same thing I do when I’m not bored.

...cause that's how we roll

2006-02-03T14:30:00.000-05:00

Must. Copy. Stacey. Who Copied Dooce.

Four jobs I’ve had

1.Yogurt Shop counter sales, I worked there for ONE shift … then decided food service is NOT for me. Actually the serving of the food was fine – the cleaning of the yogurt machine was not.
2.After-School nanny for a couple of kids … until thru snooping I discovered their dad was the grand wizard for the KKK … wizard, dragon – something like that…needless to say, that job was OVER as soon as I knew that! 3.Victoria’s Secret – fun job actually, good times… except for crazy old man screaming at me on Christmas EVE that he needed a box - we of course were out of boxed ‘cause it was 6:30 CHRISTMAS EVE. He wouldn’t stop being an ass, so I had to ask him if I looked like the box fairy. Conversation stopper, that one
4.Case Worker, The Atlanta Housing Authority. Worst job ever, I wouldn’t wish that place on the people I dislike most on this planet. NO ONE deserves treatment like that.

Four movies I can watch over and over
1.Coal Miner’s Daughter
2.Thirteen going on Thirty

3.Oklahoma!
4.The Jerk
Comedies and Musicals … what a shock ….. NOT

Four places I have lived
1.San Antonio, Texas
2.Columbia, South Carolina
3.Charlotte, North Carolina
4.Marietta, Georgia

Four TV shows I love
1.Starting Over
2.What Not To Wear
3.Rosanne
4.The Dog Whisperer

Four places I’ve vacationed
1.San Francisco, California
2. New York, New York
3. St. Augustine, Florida
4. Savannah, Georgia

Four of my favorite dishes
1. Sushi
2. Sesame Tofu
3. Dande’s Fried Chicken
4. Is ice cream a dish? Cake Batter Ice Cream, Cold Stone Creamery

Four sites I visit daily
1.Tinyhands
2.blurbomat

3.Dooce
4.The Numbers’ sites

places I would rather be right now
1.I’d like to be here 2 hours from now, when the main gays get here.
2.sephora with an unlimited budget
3.snuggling on the sofa with that boy.

4.and as always, on the coast of Ireland

Porn Store Follies....

2006-01-30T16:04:00.000-05:00

Never leave home without it.

Several years ago, an ex-coworker and I were at the porn store … checking out the new spring line, don'tchaknow. And something um, interesting caught my eye. Now, I have gone to the porn store with all walks of life, gay, straight, friends, lovers…whatever. And I used to try very hard to now look stunned at some of the things I saw. ( Now most things just seem like un-necessary props. ) Some things are funny, some look way more painful than any kind of pleasueable, some just make me ask, just WHERE does that go …. The answer of course is like when you’re in an expensive botiuque – if have to ask, you either can’t afford it, or you don’t really wanna know.

Except for one item that craked me up then, and Lauren an I got to talking about the idea of it just a few minutes ago when we were talking each other down from the tree. ( and don’t ask for the back story of how we got to this place )

The item of which I speak is….

The Travel Pussy.

Yes, that’s right. It’s some contraption for yes, stickin your wang ( tallywaker, …. ) in.

That got me to thinking “ hey, I have one of those.”

I have my own personal travel pussy.

In fact I have it with me right now as I type these words. I had it when I was doing the laundry, I had it when I was grocery shopping, and wanna know a secret – I had it when I was making out with that boy last week.

Lauren and I discussed the things we have left our homes without..

Our loved ones, dogs, shoes, mascara, bras, face full of makeup, purses, earrings – yes.
Our pussies ALWAYS travel with us.

So now I ask you to sing along…to the tune of “Me and My Shadow’

Me and my pussy, strolling down the avenue….

I crack me up. And really, that’s all that matters.

Right Now

2006-01-29T23:12:00.000-05:00

...and not in a Van Halen kinda way....

when in doubt of what to blog ( no matter how many ideas are in 'the notebook') ... go with the list.

so in no order - and meaning nothing inpick'lar ...

1. i have the softest feet in the en-tire world, seriously, you should be here .... and ( nod to christel - the toenails are bronzeeeee)

2. i'm burning a candle in and it smells soooooo good - it's one of those white barn ones - onyx collection. it smells like a man's cologne. really really good. i could use a real man here right about now.

3. i want to get 2 more tattoos. one on the top of my foot and i'm not sure where the other one should go. prolly in the ankle-y area.

4. i found the world's oldest palm pilot today - and lo and behold, it still works.

5. my hair is extra red now, that i think will change by say - wednesday.

6. i have more clothes to iron than i have time to do for the rest of my enTiRE life.

7. it really does FUCK up your nails when you take the acrilycs off... man, i need cute hands again.

8. i am addicted to the show "roseanne" .... i can't watch it enough

9. i'm excited because MY MAIN GAYS are coming here this friday weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

10. there's a cute thingy on my fridge that stacey sent me last week.

11. i have made so many trips to goodwill in the last week or so, the guy there knows me by name.

12. i am SO the knitter. i now make wee little baby hats for the childrens hospital - and bigger ones for the older children.

13. I think hershey's kisses should NOT have some kind of hard candy covering - leave well enough alone

14. i have the world's sweetest dog sleeping on the end of my bed, i'm a lucky girl

15. i'm waiting for tex to get his ass back to the IM

16. i have the same teddy bear on my bed that i've had since i was 4. her name is samantha, named after "bewitched" of course.

17. i don't think i believe in the idea of ONE soulmate. i have several.

18. i don't think i believe in marriage.

19. i'm really ok with that decision.

that's all i've got right now - i'm sure more will be added later.

cause that's how i roll.

there she is....

2006-01-23T16:57:00.000-05:00

Ok, so anyone who ‘really’ knows me, knows where they can find me the last Saturday in September.

That’s right, at a pageant party. Specifically hosting the yearly Miss America party.

However, there’s been some trouble in pageant-land. See, they tried to make it some modern thing. It’s not a modern thing. It’s a tacky antiquated silly thing.

It’s also a beauty pageant – let’s call it what it is. It’s not a scholarship competition, cause those are based on grades, no on who looks best in a bikini, so seriously – let’s just call it a beauty pageant and go on with our day.

Whoa, I got WAY ahead of myself …. Lemme backtrack.

Christine and I went to a movie ( the family stone ) this past Saturday. We thought it was a typical romantic comedy chick flick …….. IT’S A WEEPER, like a box of Kleenex weeper. They should really warn people about that kinda thing …. Anyho, Christine was driving me home, when her hubby called and informed us that Miss America was getting ready to start on the picture box.

So we did a quick ( in the head ) inventory of what proper pageant foods we had at my house, decided we were good, and speed along mightily towards casa de allie.

…. Now just watching this on the fly was something we’ve never done. We almost ALWAYS have a party. We have dart guns, scoring sheets, 10 million kinds of food product, lots of friends, 3 or 4 blenders going …. Crowns are worn, and hateful and catty attitudes abound.

It really is a blast, but sometimes is bittersweet, because gasp my friends and I are getting older….and as a result, we have started talking about how things “used to be” like when the talent competition was really something ….. Whitney Houston songs, tapping, clogging, terrible terrible terrible singers, classic baton twirling, if you’re lucky those batons are on FIRE…and I may be getting my pageants confused but…didn’t miss America used to have a state costume?! ( or is that miss usa?)

Anyhow, my point is, we had pageant night…. Low key style… but believe me – I still had comments … and general opinions… which I of course – will share with you now.

1. Again if you know me, you know I’m a pale girl. I come from hearty Irish and Scottish stock … and we are a pale people. I think pale is beautiful, but I also understand that it can look icky on camera at time…….HOWEVER, I do not understand the abuse of the spray on tan. EVERYSINGLEONE of these women looked like a giant cheese doodle with Vaseline on their legs …. Even the African American and Asian American woman and a certain doodleness about them.

2. Gowns, now, I realize this year the miss America pageant was in Vegas, but come ON ladies – MUST you dress like an aging showgirl/hooker/cocktail waitress. The gowns were all cut up to here and down to there and sheer … we all know most scholarships are based on you’re ability to almost show the fake melon boobs without any nipple showing.

3. There was SO much makeup going on ( and let’s consider the source of who’s saying that – we all know I LOVES me some makeup ) I’m pretty sure that people in space saw some of the blush going on in Vegas last weekend…..

4. Which reminds me of another thing that could be seen from space…… and it demands that I make mention of an epidemic in this county.

Teeth Whitening Abuse.

Something must be done about this, there’s a difference between a healthy looking smile, and looking like you have painted each individual tooth with liquid paper.Just sayin.

Now I must mention a thing or two that blew me away.

*Miss Oklahoma ( now Miss America ) is the ugliest one we’ve had in a while.
*Miss Mississippi didn’t even make it into the top 10 …. I can’t remember a pageant ever when that happened.
*They changed the lyrics to the “there she is Miss America” song – and took the part about Atlantic City out … sad sad sad
*And finally, they narrowed it down from 5 to 3 … before crowning.

That sucks.

But I’ll watch it again next year, cause that’s how I roll.

lookit

2006-01-23T03:28:00.000-05:00

i'm actually posting again.... i decided that the next time someone posts something really awful in the comment section - i won't quit blogging - cause i like the whole blog thing - but i will post their IP's and location info and possibly their network administrators. cause i'm a spiteful motherfucker like that..... but i digress.

i needed a little time off, had some personal stuff going on, a death in my family, some traveling, holidays, haircuts, pedicures, and all that jazz.

i've been jacking around with some blog templates...but then i decided one of the plain ol' blogger ones will work for me, exciting no??

it's 3:31 am sunday night and i'm thinking i need to get my happy ass to at least TRY to sleep - although my new motto comes courtesy of stacey's bff .... when they recently had the BEAUTIFUL twins, and those twins didn't sleep - so of course the parents don't sleep .... they took ownership of this and decided that "sleep is for pussies"

i have to agree.

under (re) construction

2006-01-18T09:51:00.000-05:00

eh - fuck 'em.

i'm playing around with an old template seven made for me ( and yes tex, i managed to save the old one you did for me )

so after my little break, maybe i'm gonna have something to say now and again.

be good. carry on. see ya then.

this is the end my friend

2005-12-14T15:57:00.000-05:00

well, the end of this incarnation of the blog.

if you want a link to the new one, lemme know - if not...

merry christmas
party on
and all that jazz

hi.

2005-12-12T08:35:00.002-05:00

long bad weekend.

i'll spare the details.

but i have decided what i want for christmas.

i want the dog to STOP LICKING THE SOFA.

hi.

2005-12-12T08:35:00.001-05:00

long bad weekend.

i'll spare the details.

but i have decided what i want for christmas.

i want the dog to STOP LICKING THE SOFA.

hi.

2005-12-12T08:35:00.000-05:00

long bad weekend.

i'll spare the details.

but i have decided what i want for christmas.

i want the dog to STOP LICKING THE SOFA.

You Are Blitzen

Always in good spirits, you're the reindeer who loves to party down with Santa.
Why You're Naughty: You're always blitzed on Christmas Eve, while flying!
Why You're Nice: You mix up a mean eggnog martini.

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

yea yea yea

2005-12-09T14:49:00.000-05:00

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.
You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.
At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

git-r-done

2005-12-07T13:11:00.000-05:00

I stole this directly from the Pork Tornado site ... who stole it from Bob and Dave. i love angry smart southern boys.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

AN OPEN LETTER TO LARRY THE CABLE GUY

Hi everybody!The following is a letter I wrote after picking up Git-R-Done - The Larry The Cable Guy Story (ghost written by Susan Sontag). I have to warn you that it's nearly 11 pages long. But I think it's chock full of life lessons for all of us and if you're not careful... you just might learn something!

An open letter to Larry The Cable Guy:

Hello Larry,It's me, David Cross.

Recently I was shooting something for my friends at "Wonder Showzen" (the funniest, most subversive comedy on American T.V. at the moment) and when we were taking a break one of the guys on the show asked me if I had seen some article in something somewhere wherein you were interviewed to promote your new book "Please-Git-R-Done" (published by Crown Books $23.95 U.S.) and they asked about your devoting a chapter to slamming me and the "P.C. Left". Since I stopped following your career shortly after you stopped going on stage wearing a tool belt with cable wrapped around your neck (around your appearance at "Laffs 'n' Food" in Enid, Oklahoma Aug 23-26 1999?) I said I wasn't aware of the article. They went on to tell me that you said basically (and I am not quoting but paraphrasing their recall) that I could kiss your ass, that I've never been to one of your shows (true) and that I didn't know your audience (untrue).

SO, I went and got your book, "Gitting-R-Donned", and excitedly skimmed past the joke about that one time you farted and something farty happened, on past the thing about the fat girl who farted and finally found it, . Well, needless to say I farted. I farted up a fartstorm right there in the Flyin' J Travel Center. I fartingly bought the book and took it home with an excitement I haven't experienced since I got Bertha Chudfarter's Grandma drunk and she took her teeth out and blew me as I was finger banging her while wearing a Jesus sock puppet in the back of the boiler room at The Church of the Redeemer off I-20 (I don't care who you are, that's funny.)

Anyhoo, I got home and read the good parts. It seems that you were pissed off at Rolling Stone magazine, and I can understand why. You made some good points in your argument as well. I agree that there is an eliteism and bias in the press and too often a writer will include asides to show the readers how smart he or she is and how "above it" they are. But come on! Surely you can't be surprised, or worse, hurt or offended by this. You even say in the book that you knew what you were getting into (Rolling Stone being all "lefty" and whatnot). Certainly I'm not surprised that they took a ten minute phone conversation with me and chose to print only the most inflammatory paragraph within it. That's what they do.

But I want to address some of the things you write about me in "Git-to-Gittin'-r-Done". In response to the Rolling Stone article, but first let me say this; you are very mistaken if you think that I don't know your audience. Hell, I could've been heckled by the parents of some of the very people that come see you now. I grew up in Roswell, Georgia (near the Funny Bone and not far from The Punch Line). The very first time I went on stage was at The Punch Line in Sandy Springs in 1982 when I was 17. I cut my teeth in the south and my first road gigs ever were in Augusta, Charleston, Baton Rouge, and Louisville. I remember them very well, specifically because of the audience. I remember thinking (occasionally, not all the time) "what a bunch of dumb redneck, easily entertained, ignorant motherfuckers. I can't believe the stupid shit they think is funny." So, yes, I do know your audience, and they suck. And they're simple. And please don't mistake this as coming from a place of bitterness because I didn't "make it" there or, I'm not as successful as you because that's not it at all. Since I was a kid I've always been a little over sensitive to the glorification and rewarding of dumb. The "salt of the earth, regular, every day folk" (or lowest common denominator) who see the world, and the people like me in it, as on some sort of secular mission to take away their flag lapels and plaster-of-paris jesus television adornments strike me as childishly paranoid. But perhaps the funniest (oddest) thing in your book is you taking me to task for being P.C. Have you heard my act?! I'll match your un-P.C.ness any day of the week my friend. I truly believe, and have said onstage amongst other things that, orthodox Jews are bar none, the most annoying people, as a group, that walk this earth. I absolutely refuse to say the term "African-American". It's a ridiculous and ill-applied label that was accepted with a thoughtless rush just to make white people feel at ease and slightly noble. I also believe that in the right setting that, as unfortunate as it may be, retarded people can be a near constant source of entertainment (fact!). Larry, whether northern, southern, straight, gay, male, female, liberal, conservative, Christian or Jew, I've walked them all. It didn't matter if it was a room full of "enlightened" hippie lesbian wicans at Catch A Rising Star in Cambridge, MA or literally hundreds of students at the University of St. Louis (a Jesuit school) or a roomful of the cutest, angriest frat boys in Baton Rouge all threatening to beat me up, I un-P.C.'d the shit out of them. That's another thing that bothers me too. I honestly believe that if we had worked a week together at whatever dumb-ass club in American Strip Mall #298347 in God's Country U.S.A and hung out that week and got good and drunk after the shows, that you and I would've been making each other laugh (I imagine we would have politely disagreed on a few things) but not only would we be laughing but we'd often be laughing at the expense of some of the audience members at that nights show and you know it. I'll address your easy, bullshit sanctimonious "don't mess with my audience" crap further on. But for now, let's "Gittle-R-Ding-Dong-Done!"

Okay, here's what I said in the RS interview: "He's good at what he does. It's a lot of anti-gay, racist humor -- which people like in America - all couched in 'I'm telling it like it is.' He's in the right place at the right time for that gee-shucks, proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel, selling-ring tones-act. That's where we are as a nation now. We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride.

" You took umbrage at my calling a lot of your act anti-gay and racist and said that "...according to Cross and the politically correct police, any white comedians who mention the word 'black' or say something humorous but faintly negative about any race are racists.

"Well, first of all, your act is racist. Maybe not all the time, but it certainly can be. Here, let me quote you back, word for word, some of your "faintly negative" humor and I'll let people judge for themselves.

Re: Abu Ghraib Torture -

"Let me ask some of these commie rag head carpet flying wicker basket on the head balancing scumbags something!"

Re: Having a Muslim cleric give the opening prayer at the Republican Convention -

"What the hell is this the cartoon network? The Republicans had a muslim give the opening prayer at there (sic) convention! What the hell's going on around here! Is Muslim now the official religion of the United States!... First these peckerheads ( Ironically, "peckerhead" was a derogatory word slaves and their offspring used to describe white people) fly planes into towers and now theys (sic) prayin' before conventions! People say not all of em did that and I say who gives a rats fat ass! That's a fricken slap in the face to New York city by having some muslim sum-bitch give the invocation at the republican convention! This country pretty much bans the Christian religion (the religion of George Washington and John Wayne) virtually from anything public and then they got us watchin' this muslim BS!! Ya wanna pray to allah then drag yer flea infested ass over to where they pray to allah at!" End Quote. So... yeah. There you go. This quote goes on and on but my favorite part is when you say towards the end, "...now look, I love all people (except terrorist countries that want to kill us)...

"There are numerous examples and I don't think I need to reprint any more. You get the idea. Oh, what the hell, here's one more - "They're dead, get over it! Poor little sandy asses! I'm sure all them dead folks'd they'd killed give 40 shekels or whatever kinda money these inbred sumbitches use, but I'd give 40 of 'em whatever it is to be humiliated instead of dead!"

Okay Larry The Cable Guy, I will ignore the irony of a big ole southern redneck character actually using "inbred" as an insult, as well as the fact that a shekel is currency from Israel, the towel heads sworn enemy. But at least you're passionate about what you see as inhumane injustice (not on a global level of course, but on a national level) and the simple black and white of what's right and what's wrong. It's kinda like you're this guy who speaks for all these poor, unfortunate souls out there who wear shirts with blue collars on them, work hard all day to put food on the table for their family (unlike people who wear shirts with white collars or wear scrubs or t-shirts or dresses or costumes that consist of flannel shirts with the sleeves cut-off and old trucker hats) and pray to the American Flag of Jesus to protect them from the evils of muslims, queers, illegal immigrants, and the liberal jews who run Hollywood and the media. I guess one could say that you're "telling it like it is". And considering the vast amount of over-simplification you employ to describe with sweeping generalizations, all of America and the World that "don't make no sense to you", as well as your lack of sensitivity, and second grade grammar, one might be led to think that you are somewhat proud of not appearing (or being) too intellectual. Combine that with your sucker appeal to the knee-jerk white Christian patriot in us all who would much rather hear 87 fart jokes than hear a joke in which the President (the current one, not the last one) or the Pope, or Born-Again Christians, or Lee Greenwood get called on their shit for being the hypocrites that they are, and I think we've got a winner!

About being Anti-Gay. I honestly take that back. I do not think that you are anti-gay, I didn't choose those words wisely. Your stuff isn't necessarily anti-gay but rather stupid and easy. "Madder than a queer with lock jaw on Valentines Day." That's not that funny, I don't care who you are. It's just sooo easy. I mean, over half the planet sucks dick so why gays? Why not truck stop whores, or Hollywood Starlets or housewives? Because when you say "queer" you get an easy laugh. End of story.

As for being a multi-millionaire in disguise, that's just merely a matter of personal taste for me. I do not begrudge you your money at all, it is sincerely hard earned and you deserve whatever people want to give to you. What sticks in my craw about that stuff is the blatant and (again, personal taste) gross marketing and selling of this bullshit character to your beloved fans. Now look, if someone wants to pay top dollar to come to one of your shows and then drop a couple hundred more on "Git-R-Done" lighters and hats and t-shirts and windshield stickers and trailer hitches and beer koozies and fishing hats and shot glasses etc, then good for you. I just think it's a little crass and belies the "good ole boy" blue collar thing you represent. But that's no big deal.

Now, as for the last statement that "We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride."

Well, I think that's true. When you can rally the troops (so to speak) with a lazy, "latte drinking, tofu eating" generalization of Liberals and "Back ass rag fags" to describe Arabs, then, yeah, I think that falls in the "ignorant" category. I think that with even the slightest attention to the double standard and hypocrisy of both the Left and the Right in this country (if not all of the Christian Extremists as a whole) coupled with the bullshit they lazily swallow and parrot back while happily ignoring the gross inhumane treatment of those that aren't them so that we may have cheap sneakers and oil and slightly less taxes (although I'm sure the bracket you're in now gives you a ton of tax money back), then you could maybe see my point. Now here's the best part - in your book you preface the above quote by saying, "...but I guess I'm not as intellectual as David Cross. In that Rolling Stone article, he sure showed us what a deep thinker he is by sayin' "America is in a stage of vague intellectual pride." Jesus Christ can you even fucking read?! Whoever read that article to you butchered the actual quote. The quote that was right fucking in front of their face! I would fire your official reader and have them replaced with a Hooters Girl who doesn't fart. That way you have something nice to look at while you are getting your misinformation.

As for "anti-intellectual pride", that is Larry The Cable Guy in spades. Let me quote you again (from an on-line interview, "I consider my jokes to be very jeuvinille (sic). Stuff a 14 year old would laugh at because that's the ...sence (sic) of humor I have.". Hmmm, okay. That was easy.

Well, I suppose I've already covered part of that in the above. But you also specifically dumb down your speech while making hundreds of purposefully grammatical errors. How do I know this? It's on page 17 of your book wherein you describe how you would "Larry" up your commentaries for radio. What does it mean to "Larry" something up? Take a wild guess. The reason you feel the need to "Larry" something up? Because you are not that dumb. I mean you, Dan Whitney, the guy who's name the bank account is under. You were born and raised in Nebraska (hardly The South), went to private school and moved to Florida when you were 16. This is when you developed your accent?! Not exactly the developmental years are they? At age 16 that's the kind of thing you have to make a concerted effort to adopt. Did you hire a voice coach? Or were you like one of those people who go to England for a week and come back sounding like an extra from "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"? As you said yourself in an interview once, "I can pop in and out of it pretty much whenever I want". In your book on page 89 you say in reference to the "gee-shucks" millionaire comment, "...see, to his (David's) mind, bein' well paid means I'm no longer real and I can't be a country boy anymore. It's just an act." Hey, it's always been an act! That's my fucking point! You admit it yourself so cut the indignation shit. And I am in no way deriding your work ethic. You clearly have more fart jokes than most and for that I applaud you. You go on to talk about how hard you work and life on the road and living on Waffle House and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I get it, we’ve all been there and played shitty, degrading gigs and sacrificed etc, etc. Then you say, "...this (the personal attack) was different because David basically hammered my fans in that RS article by implying that they were ignorant. He crossed the line when he railed against them, so I had to tell ya what I felt about that. He can hammer me all he wants, but when he screwed with my fans, it was time for me to say something." Aww, that's so sweet and egregious. I can't stand that fan ass kissing bullshit. You and Dane Cook ought to get together and have a "my-fan's-are-the-greatest-people-on-earth-and-that's-why-I-do-this" off. You could both sell a shit load of merch too. But having said that, I would truly love to get some of your fans and my fans in a room together to debate some of the finer points on comedy, music, culture, the issues facing our country today and just about anything else we might find worthy of discussion. My fans are pretty smart as well. They are also, I imagine, as "hard-working" as your fans. Not all of them of course, but most. And I'm sure that they may come up with some genuinely interesting, insightful points (and would do so without spouting a bunch of meaningless Christian platitudes). And if you really, truly want to respect your fans, lower your ticket price as well as the price of your ubiquitous merchandise. I'm sure all those hard-working Americans could use the extra money now that the budgets are being cut drastically from Transportation, Education, Health and Human Services, HUD, Dept of the Interior, EPA, Farm Service Agency, FEMA, Agricultural, FDA, VA, FDA, FHA, National Center for Environmental Health, and numerous other departments and agencies that they might directly rely on for help. All so that we can pay off this massive tax cut during "war" time that we're all getting (them not so much though). Oh well, that's just one of those "political" things that I think about occasionally.

Anyway, I just wanted to address the stuff you wrote about me and clear some things up.

Mostly the air around here... I just farted!!!!!

Think-Of-Something-To-Do-And-See-That-Task-To-Completion!!!!!

Fart,David Cross

2005-12-05T10:59:00.000-05:00

So I went to Charlotte this weekend to visit the “main gays”.

I can’t say enough how much I love these boys (even when they get all Frances and Delores on me)

I think it’s safe to say that with these boy, I get unconditional love – and I give it right back – they make me wanna move up there so we can hang out more - cause this 3 or 4 times a year shit – is just that – shit.

But back to a trip re-cap.

I got there Friday in time for lunch … the messiest hamburger this side of texas – and enough fries to keep the farmers in Idaho in high cotton for a while. From there we did a little shopping ( duh ) and then we went ( in preparation for events later that evening ) to the quasi abandoned Heritage USA … you know the former haunt of Jim and Tammy Faye. It’s really quite creepy – it’s pretty much all in disrepair now – building with big holes in walls and roofs, and everything overgrown. A church has bought some of the property and is refurbishing it – but wow – it’s got a long way to go …. But from there, back home, loaded up the girls and headed to DRAG BINGO.

This my friends is truly a GAY old time. The theme was “the prom” so fancee ball gowns and tuxedos abound. And and and, if that weren’t enough – we were graced by a visit by miss tammy faye bakker messner herownself. She is about as big as a minute … she seems to be in pretty good shape considering all she’s been thru health wise lately – she called one of the games, crowned the queen of the prom, chatted some with the crowd, posed for pictures – and when the crowd called out …. 69 ….in response to the amount we were playing that game for - she wondered what the 69 meant …. The main queen said she’d explain it to her hubbie “roe” and to that tammy responded … “is it naughty” … could she BE cuter?

Saturday started with sleeping late and biscuits – that my dears is a great way to start a day – then more shopping ( this is where the “boy” part really kicks in, myself, I can only look at different tv’s/computers/cell phones/ etc – for about 17 seconds – then …. MOVE … but these are boys – so I wandered around some…..

Then more shopping – this time for handbags … MUCH more my speed – one pink and done red number made it home with me …. Then we had to prepare for Saturday night’s Old Fashioned Tree Trimming Party … yes that’s right..full of ho-made cookies, martinis, and giggles.

thanks boys, i adore you.

i just open my mouth and out it come.

2005-12-05T08:23:00.000-05:00

from me and lo-retta say ho-ho-ho

kinda done

2005-11-28T21:03:00.000-05:00

not in the d-u-n way...but i can't really make myself blog lately - so when i've got something new to say - i'll email ya...

not that there's anything 'wrong' ... no need for panic - i just got nothing.

just like Marlo Thomas

2005-11-21T10:22:00.000-05:00

So I woke up as “that girl” this morning.

The one that’s into the holiday season WAY too early.

I’m listening Accuradio’s Christmas channel, we’re planning our office decorations, I have a woman at my house cleaning right now, the appointment for Mike at the groomer and pictures with Santa is made – I’m sporting bright red nails , and there is egg nog in the fridge, some Christmas presents have been bought, and the tree will be in place on Friday.

I can’t wait for Christmas this year, I wanna go look at lights, sing Christmas songs, see the Christmas Pagent at church, watch “ you’ll shoot your eye out”, and all that stuff.

I need to settle down before I burn myself out.

Cause we haven’t made it thru Thanksgiving yet…I cook thanksgiving – and I love it, we’re doing a little less, and cooking it a little ( read LITTLE) bit healthier this year because of health issues in the family –but it’s still gonna be a blast – I love getting up in the morning and watching the Macy’s Parade while I’m cooking and setting the table – then usually “it’s a wonderful life” comes on – and we watch the first ½ or so of that – then it’s chow time ….

We’re having thanksgiving at the office today, I think this is the first time EVER that I didn’t cook something – I just went to Publix and bought fruit salad, and that cream cheese dip that goes with it …. ( that way I know at least one food product is safe)

I hope everyone can think of some things to be thankful for this holiday season. I know I’ve got lots.

come into my office please.

2005-11-16T22:26:00.000-05:00

Again with the stealing, but I think I might actually make a real live blog entry with this. While looking at the numbers blogs …(like an hourly thing) …and Stacey has posted her yearly performance evaluation.

I think I’m going to steal this idea…cause I’m a number, and that’s how I roll.

2005 Performance Evaluation

*I was present everyday. Sometime just in body and not in spirit, but this is my blog and that’s my answer so suck on it.

*I continued to ‘release’ people who were toxic to me ( that’s new age speak for “kindly asking the motherfuckers to either
a. fuck off
b. fuck themselves or
c. fuck whatever you want, just do it way fucking far away from me dealer’s choice on that one.

*I was a good friend, and allowed others to be good friends to me

*I had kickin hair, both long and short

*I continued to use the word ‘fuck’ as a noun, verb, adverb, and adjective.

*I went yet another year without eating SPAM

*I have another person to add to the “best friend” list

*I ate candy every day

*I colored my hair approximately 70 times ( seriously…. I know shut up )

*I changed my nail polish (conservatively) 100 times

*I went yet another year without a homicide

*I repeatedly went over my cell phone minutes –and still really don’t care

*I looked cute pretty much everyDAMNday

*I laughed out loud and HARD everyday – even the awful days, even on the way home from the clinic.

*Screened ALL incoming phone calls

*Continued to not answer the door if I wasn’t expecting company

*Was the best damn doggy mommie in the world

*Sang loudly and with no self consciousness in the car daily

*Was able to maintain a child like joy in terrible situations

And to quote my girl stace

I checked my email.

Thank you and goodnight.

more with the stealing...

2005-11-14T10:59:00.000-05:00

Stolen post
I'm a thief...I've blatently stolen this from ..yeah, i don't know who - a link on christel's page ..i think.....not sure...

10 Favorites…

Favorite Color: Purple
Favorite Food: Mexican / southern food
Favorite Band/Singer: al green
Favorite Hobby: reading
Favorite Movie: jane eyre & coal miner's daughter - shutup
Favorite Sport: baseball, baby!
Favorite Season: fall
Favorite Day of the Week: saturday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: at the moment - pumpkin - all time - strawberry
Favorite Time of Day: noontime

9 Currents…

Current Mood: happy
Current Clothes: demin skirt, grey shirt, air cast ( yes, allie jakked up her ankle again)
Current Underwear Color: grey - to match the shirt and bra - duh
Current Desktop Picture: beautiful fall leaves
Current Nail Color: fingernails, french manicure, but toenails are red with glitter - i need to change that
Current Time: 10:57am
Current Surroundings: office
Current Annoyances: hunger pangs
Current Thoughts: I have to pee

8 Firsts…

First Best Friend: Pagie
First Screen Name: dunno???
First Pet: Golden Retriever, Daisy
First Tattoo: and so far only tattoo, 9 sided star on right shoulder blade
First Crush: Dean Dimeadurous in 2nd grade
Music Group: Shawn Cassidy ....not a group - but first concert
First Car: 1978 Honda Accord, Hatchback, red. 5 speed'

7 Lasts…

Last Cigarette: months ago - took one puff - tossed it out
Last Drink: does water count? ... had some nice wine a couple of weeks ago with the boy
LastTime on Drugs: Prozac? about a month i think
Last Kiss: 2 long long long weeks ago - unless puppy kisses count
Last Movie Watched: Pillow Talk, yesterday
Last CD Played: Jason Mraz, Live at Java Joe's

Have You Evers…

Have you ever dated one of your best friends? no
Have you ever broken the law? yes
Have you ever been arrested? nope
Have you ever skinny dipped? yes
Have you ever been on television? yes
Have you ever kissed someone you didn’t know? yes

5 Places You’ve Been…

New York City
Graceland
San Fransicso
Asheville, NC
Memphis ( insert Lyle Lovett tune here )

4 People

4 People You Can Tell Anything To…
The Numbers
My Dog
God
and i'm pretty sure i can with tex too

3 Things…

3 things you can hear right now:
"Come Sail Away" on the computer
Keyboards Clicking
The call of Walgreens

3 things you can’t live without:
love, food, family (ditto - and the dog is family)

3 things you do when you’re bored:
read, chat on-line, knit

Choices
Black or white: white

Hot or cold: cold

1 Thing You Want To Do Before You Die…be ok with "me"

yet another stolen blog entry

2005-11-11T14:53:00.000-05:00

because since i'm cutting down on sugar - i'm no longer able to think of things on my own...and i expect the others to follow - and the others know who they are....

More about me, that is right, I have nothing to do

1. Spell your first name backwards: N O S I L L A

2. Story behind your name: Not so much to tell - i go by my middle name, my first name is a family one - i was named after my maternal grandmothe ( and there's a story there ). I used to hate that name, now i love it.

3. How old are you: 35 motherfuckers ... choke on it.

4. Where do you live: Suburb of Atlanta...(on the good side)

DESCRIBE YOUR:

5. Wallet - at the moment a black and pink Issac Mizrahi number - i'd like to say it's his "upscale" line - but it's the target one - it DOES not have one credit card in it - and at the moment it does have cash ... and an UTLA card, as well as a Sally's card though.

7. Toothbrush- Sonicare. I heart my Sonicare.

8. Jewelry worn daily- 3 stud earrings in the right ear, 2 in the left - plus whatever "main" earrings for the day ....no longer that fuckin cartilidge pierce...silver thumb ring, and usually some piece of moonstone somewhere....

10. Pillow cover right now- 3 betty boop, 2 purple, 2 green - yes a total of 7 shut up

13. Sunglasses- big Nicole Richie like ones with rhinestones...or just plain black ones

14. Favorite shirt- Peanut's Superman shirt - or my old ragged out sweatshirt of comfort and joy

15. Cologne/Perfume- depend on my mood, pleasures, lauren, happy for me - anything that costs more than 13.95 a bottle for men...SIDEBAR- men, don't wear the "Axe" shit - it smells like old man ass and cabbage.

16. CD in stereo right now- Mix the Texan made for me

17. Piercings - ears

18. What you are wearing now- Purple Sweater, Black dress pants with the floopy leg, and black suede pumps

19. Wishing- not that i knew all the answers, but that i new what questions to ask

20. Wanting - not even sure

21. After this - seeing if stacey can get me off ..teehee

22. If you could get away with it and murder anyone who would it be? - Murder? no one. Mystery Illness....the list is fuckin long!

23. Person you wish you could see right now: The numbers (duh) Mark Ruffalo, Ed McMahn (sic) with a huge ass check for MEEEEEEEEEE

24. Favorite movie- too many to list

25. Something you're looking forward to in the coming week: One week closer to seeing Christel.

26. The last thing you ate- Carrot souffle (YUM)

27. Something you are deathly afraid of- Clowns, dying in a fire, the loss of a friend

33. Do you believe in love at first sight ? no, i do believe in sex on a first date though....that's gotta count for something.

38. What is the longest you've ever stayed up? 4 days

39. Can you eat with chopsticks? yes ,and when my hair is long - i can use then to put my hair up too.

42. What's something that you wish people would understand better- themselves.

43. What's something you wish you could understand better? serious moment - why people fight in the name of God - i mean really - would that make God happy? can God BE happy - or is that just a human emotion ... so so much to think on

44. What is something that you wish was still around? Extended family - closeby that is

RELATIONSHIPS:

46. How many people have you kissed? I have no idea - lots (and see below - i'm REAL good at it)- and all the numbers.

47 Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friend- if they're my best friend I'd sacrifice anything, no questions asked, nothing expected in return. ( that's the same answer the woman who i stole this from had and it's dead on - one day christel was lonely - and i offered to send mike to her - THAT is love

FASHION STUFF:

51. Where is your favorite place to shop? Dunno - anywhere they sell lipgloss.

52. Have any tattoos- yup - one 9sided star and hoping to get another one over christmas

53. What is your favorite thing to wear- pj's

55. How much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing- too much.

56.. Who is the least fashionable person you know? an unmention-albe coworker

60. What is the worst trend you see today- ugly trends. 12 year olds dressing like hookers

61. Do you do drugs- do - no. did? no

68. What would you change about yourself- I wish I had more focus, ambition and determination. Pretty much I wish I wasn't lazy. ( i'ma keep that answer too)

69. What are essentials in your life ? My friends, my family, dog, laughter, God, and last but NOT least - LIPGLOSS. .... oh and booze.

yes i see that there was a jump from question 61 to 68 ... and prolly other number errors in there too - but really, who cares?

ooh-rah

2005-11-10T13:48:00.000-05:00

God Bless America.

as if i didn't know this already

2005-11-10T08:36:00.000-05:00

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

radio free title

2005-11-09T09:00:00.001-05:00

So, I think I’m actually gonna blog today. Which is no little thing, because while I have a notebook full of ideas ( but sadly I don’t know the exact number of pages in it NOR do I use the same color pen all the time ) nothing was moving me to the written funny.

I talk on the phone with Stacey pretty much every night – and we ALWAYS end up snorting with laughter like truffle pigs running from a Parisian street riot …. But when it comes time to sit in front of a blank screen, I got nothing.

This got me thinking – why am I doing this anyway, I have a “real” journal where I write the really personal in depth stuff – especially since the incident where people I used to be actual real life friends decided that my blog was a good place for name calling and to shit on me. ….. yeah, they no longer get to know the real stuff….and that’s ok too.

I’m one of those girls that finds the funny in pretty much everything – I can take any subject – no matter how terrible and find a way to laugh about it – I have to ….the day I don’t laugh is the day I actually die…so I guess I’m saying this blog is really a tiny partial bit of who I am…and I’ll try to bring back the funny as regularly as possible,

Not that this will be funny mind you – more of a warning that the funny is a-commin.

Sorta like that nutsac tension right before the (see above )

lots o' little things

2005-11-02T09:29:00.000-05:00

You are Snoopy!

Which Peanuts Character are You?

i stole that quiz directly from madley's blog .... as i am want to do....

favorite text message last night " bitch, are you crazy calling me during earl"

then when i called during a commercial, insane giggling on the phone ...followed by the best line ever - "you're gonna make me snort" - ah, the classics never die.

****
what makes a bad night a little better
last night was bad swing on ye old hormonal see-saw - "r" realized this, and brought me dinner, then sat on the sofa to cuddle me and let me literally cry on his shoulder...good people

****
new favorite sweet/a little too honest/weepy song
francis dunnery "Good Life"

Good LifeWritten by Francis Dunnery

Softly Now,
You owe it to the world
And everyone knows that you're my favourite girl
But there's somethings in life that are not meant to be
I'm not meant for you and your not meant for me
Here's to our problems
And here's to our fights
Here's to our achings
And here's to you having a
Good life
From Me
Good Life

Softer Now
,You owe it to yourself
And don't think that you will be left on the shelf
Cause there's someone for you
and there's someone for me
Like me you'll meet them eventually
Here's to your lover
And here's to my wife
Here's to your children
and here's to you having a
good life
From Me
Good Life
Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby

Louder Now,
You've lost all your pain
You're married with children
and happy again
And now I
'm regretting the move that I made
Fatal mistakes are so easily mad
eEnough of my problems
they only cause fights
Forget that I rang you
And promise
you'll have such a
Beautifully happy
and
painlessly romantic
Good life
From Me
Good Life

****
most recent YAY moment
taking that damn cartilidge (whatever) piercing out of my frekin ear ... DAMN, don't get one of those - they hurt like a fucker

that's all i got right now - more as the coffee kicks in

the man in my life.

2005-11-01T10:13:00.000-05:00

wook at dat baby.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

2005-10-31T08:54:00.000-05:00

it's not hard to imagine that i'm from the south now is it?!

BAAA

2005-10-25T16:29:00.000-04:00

Cause I’m as much of a sheep as the rest of the Numbers

you're supposed to go to google and search " ______________ needs" ( the blank is your name)

Cause I’m as much of a sheep as the rest of the Numbers

Allie Needs

1. Allie needs someone she can trust
2. Allie needs Gavin more than ever
3. Allie needs needs a lot of personal attention
4. Allie needs help getting her pants off
5. Allie needs to do what ever she wants
6. Allie needs to make time for spirit
7. Allie needs (to learn) self defense.
8. Allie needs her bottle
9. Allie needs prayers
10. Allie needs me too much.

MSN

2005-10-24T16:46:00.000-04:00

so i can get MSN messenger (web based) to work at the office - but not yahoo ...

if you wanna try some chattage during the day ... email me and i'll give you my screen name.

praise jesus for jason mraz

2005-10-21T15:43:00.000-04:00

i should be in a better mood - but i'm THIS close to either
A. Crying
B. Screaming
C. Eating EVERYTHING
D. Giving up

I went to target at lunch for some halloween stuff for work...and to pick up the new melissa etheridge cd... and of course they didn't have the cd ... it was released on Oct 4...and the 'ron tried to tell me it wasn't....whatever.

and i'm really starting to think boys aren't worth it, and really there are 3 that i can count on
1. dad
2. tex
3. my dog
why did i have to pick the MOODIEST man to be interested in. and how can i learn not to take the mood personally....and why can't i be ok with really casual sex and just find someone's son to crawl on top of this weekend for some personal contact.

fuck.

.....but i'm going to get the hairs cut this afternoon .... and to go get some orange nail polish ( yes, with glitter ) and try to bolster my mood with some holiday pedicure action ( and yes, in my house Halloween is an actual real holiday )...and i think the chinese people are going to have to make me food of their native land .... cause damnit, i have PMS, have cut back on the 'zac, i'm lonely, and working on a major mood swing.

and my only plans for the weekend include cleaning toilets and visiting my parents for lunch on sunday.

damn.

Music MEME

2005-10-20T13:51:00.000-04:00

Here’s a meme I found and then changed up a little bit….

You are to answer these based on the music that is most often “with you” ( ipod, on the computer, in constant rotation in the car… that kinda thing )

( for me, these are the ones that are saved on my work computer )

List your Top 5.

5 Happy Songs
September, Earth Wind & Fire
Come on Eileen, Save Ferris
Supersong, Big Gay Al
La Vie Boheme, Rent
Pulling Mussels From the Shell, Squeeze

5 Favorite Sing Along Songs
Rapper’s Delight, Sugar Hill Gang
Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy, Big & Rich
Ana Eng, They Might Be Giants
Enid, Barenaked Ladies
Hourglass, Squeeze

5 Crying Songs
Ghost, Indigo Girls
How can you mend a broken heart, Al Green version
Leaving Me Now, Level 42
Brick, Ben Folds Five
You don’t know me, Harry Connick Jr Version

5 Guilty Pleasure Songs
Strokin, Clarence Carter
Blame it on the Boogie, Michael Jackson
Took the words right outta my mouth/ Paradise by the dashboard light, Meatloaf (tie)
Lookin Good, Feelin Gorgeous, RuPaul
Wig in a Box, Hedwig and the Angry Inch

5 Love Songs
Better be home soon, Crowded House
Sleep all day, Jason Mraz
Let’s Stay Together, Al Green
Unfold, Jason Mraz
Someone to Watch Over Me, Jamie Cullum version

5 Breakup Songs
Love Stinks, J. Giles Band
Song for the Dumped, Ben Folds Five
Uninvited, Alannis Morrisette
For the Good Times, Al Green
You don’t know me, Ray Charles version

5 “Fall” songs
Handyman, James Taylor
You and I Both, Jason Mraz
Angel From Montgomery, Bonnie Raitt
Carolina in my mind, James Taylor
Why Georgia, John Mayer

wrote it last night - who needs sleep

2005-10-19T08:20:00.000-04:00

And scene. Nice work.

I was going to go to dinner tonight with “r” for sushi ….but he had a stomach ugh …so we were thinking sushi is not the best idea……so I took a raincheck and went for the at home favorite ….

PANCAKES …. And if you’re chaz and/or greg…you know the correct way to pronounce it. ….

And observations/thoughts/stuff of the day.

Tex is fuckin amazing at the whole fixing allie’s fucked up blog ( that she her veryownself fucked up )

Why does the hair in your legs grow so fast – and it seems to take forever to grow out the hair on yourown head?

I love that my neighborhood decorates for Halloween – it cracks me up.

I like the new boy – a LOT.

The re-runs of Will & Grace are WAY funnier than the new ones.

My Name is Earl - funniest line of the night “I don’t care if she’s Chinese, Vietnamese, or Chuck E Cheese …she cain’t learn to speak English”

I wore blue eyeshadow in honor of Christel today.

You can never have too much lotion.

Everything looks better when written in purple ink.

Cookies are good, but better when eaten with friends.

I get a timer that pops up when I have been online for 211 minutes to see if I still wanna stay on – what’s the magic number about 211

When I get my life together – the first thing I’m doing is getting a maid. I FUCKING HATE CLEANING.

One of the great things about America…..no matter what time it is – somewhere on some channel, you can catch an episode of one of the Law & Order tv shows.

Elaine Chao’s hair is SO big that it doesn’t fit in the screen … I think that’s a problem.

I this Melissa Etheridge is the COOLEST FUCKIN CHICK on the planet right about now.

I still think Iron Chef is a cool show – even though I wouldn’t eat 99.95% of what they make.

I love that I have a laptop and I can type from my bed.
I think I’m ready to hurt someone if I don’t get some fried chicken soon.

what in the hell

2005-10-18T13:16:00.000-04:00

did i do ...

pardon the dust while i try and make this presentable again.

allie

i got nothin

2005-10-16T22:51:00.000-04:00

Wow, I used to be such a good little blogger…daily updates, sometimes twice…..and lately ..not so much.

Dunno what all that’s about – it’s not like I have nothing going on – I have P-lenty. More than I’d like actually – but I digress….

So one of my favorite Texans had a birthday today – I was supposed to fly him out here and find either a hooker for him or his one true love … but budgets and schedules kept that from happening – so he had to settle for a pre-birthday phone call …. Which was damn fun I must say – but when hookers are an option – a phone call can pale.

Anyway, happy birthday dear friend, know that I love you.

Ok….now I have to talk about what’s on my tv right now – it’s actually NOT law and order…..

I’m watching ( and by watching I mean flipping thru while waiting for the commercials to be done on will and grace) and Nip/Tuck is on.

Lemme go on record by saying that is one FUCKED UP show. For those of you who like it….you’re a little fucked too.,

Which brings me back to hookers. ( notice the circular logic here ) which in print looks like Hooters.

Christine and I were out and about this weekend and drove past a Hooters where they were evidently having some kinda car show – Christine wondered aloud …. What is all of that about …. I said I think it’s about boobs – but hell I have boobs …. And proceeded to flash all of old highway 41 ( insert allman brothers song lyrics here ) so that was fun.
I love a good flash.

a little schmoopy

2005-10-12T09:04:00.000-04:00

i'm feeling 15 different kinds of schmoopy today. it's mostly for my girls ... (in this case i'm talking about The Numbers .... not the local chicks! or my main gays!)

yesterday i was on the phone with "that boy" and he asked what had i told my girlfriends about him .... and i said, well, sorta everything.

he on one hand thought that was really cool - and on another wondered if we ever got "jealous" or would "compete" for another number's man.

(insert hysterical laughing 'here')

i kindly explained that we were WAY more likely to "fall" for each other ( and this includes YOU kristen ) than for someone's guy ..... and while it was funny, it was also sorta sad, because it told be TONS about the kinds of women he's known before ....... ( insert way 234,753,333 that i'm different from most women 'here' )

i know i talk a lot about my girls - but then it's my fuckin blog - and i can do what i want .... but we have been thru SO much ... births, deaths, marriages, divorces, misscarriages (yes really - who would make that shit up ... beyotch), disappointments in family and former friends, laughed together so hard that we've peed a little bit, and cried for each other's pain so hard that we couldn't breathe ...

one of us ( stacey maybe ) was talking about our tats one day and said how cool it was that we had a tribal looking tattoo and we really WERE a tribe .... a group, with our own language, customs, roles, and all that jazz - it's really pretty fuckin' cool.

so let us be the ones who aren't jealous at the others success, let's continue to laugh, love, cry, heal, hurt, and TATTOO with reckless abandon.

i love you all so much

my christel
my lauren
my mary
my stacey

thank you girls....no, thank you women.

thanks for asking..

2005-10-11T16:12:00.000-04:00

all praise be to tasty for bringing this gem into my life..

Bombs are flying
People are dying
Children are crying
Politicians are lying too.

Cancer is killing
Texaco's spilling
The whole world's gone to hell
But how are you?

I'm super
Thanks for asking
All things considered I couldn't be better I must say
I'm feeling super
No, nothing bugs me
Everything is super when you're

Don't you think I look cute in this hat

I'm so sorry Mr. Cripple
But I just can't feel too bad for you right now.
Because I'm feeling
So insanely super
That even the fact that you can't walk Can't bring me down

Background singers: He's super Thanks for asking All things considered He couldn't be better he must say

Big Gay Al: I'm super No, nothing bugs me Everything is super when you're Don't you think I look cute in this hat These little pants, this matching tie That I got at Merv's I'm super

Background singers: In the barracks and the trenches as well
Big Gay Al: Stick 'em up.
Background singers: Big Gay Al says do ask do tell
Big Gay Al: Skittles
Background singers: Yes he's super and he's proud to be gay
Big Gay Al: OK
Background singers: Everything is super when you're gay! When you're gay!

Oh, i know this one

2005-10-09T19:09:00.000-04:00

....that has become what i say whenever i turn on any version of law & order anymore.

wow, i think it's time i admit that i have a problem.

hi, my name is allie, and i'm a law & order addict.
i've seen them all - can tell which one it is before the opening credits run.
and i still watch it.

but, programs are for quitters.

and i'm no quitter.

ah, so i had a really good weekend - i had a sweet date friday night - lots of laughing and cute flirty glances, i love that. i think we may have finally developed a rhythm - a really good comfort level - and that's cool. i had to calm down some - and he had to let the wall down some...so, in the immortal words of elvis presley - "slowly but surely - i'm gonna bring ya round"

i had mike's brother this weekend too- and that's always fun. but DAMN 2 ginormous black labs are a LOT - i'm saying that's a lot of frekin fur to keep up with.

it's 8:55am

2005-10-05T08:55:00.000-04:00

So far….

Ok, woke up on time
Cute cute CUTE hair
Went to starbuckss and got the pumpkin spice latte
Lots of people are out of the office today
And the first “fall” morning happened … nice and cool
Braves have playoff game this afternoon
Listening to Jason Mraz and James Taylor.

List o' loves

2005-10-04T09:51:00.000-04:00

In no particiular order.

1. how quickly the numbers will get together to whup up on a stupid whore's ass.
2. the Starbuck's pumpkin latte ( sorry christel)
3. lipgloss
4. that new penis smell
5. the cool mornings of fall
6. when you call an old friend and he sees the caller ID and answers "WHAT?" then starts crackin up
7. giggling like a schoolgirl on the phone with my friends
8.SHINERS
9. presents in the mail related to shiners
10. finding lotion on sale
11. sleeping in
12. that "thwack" sound mike's tail makes when he's wagging it on the carpet
13. when you recognize your favorite song after the first one or two notes and crank it loud and sing along
14. Purell hand sanitizer
15. people who hate "creed"
16. purple
17. star shaped stuff
18. my tattoo and what it means.....and the design i found for my next one
19. spongebob
20. inside jokes
21. rescue dogs
22. manicures
23. cute feet
24. 3 words - you've got mail
25. my girls and my texan.

damnit stacey aka. BAA

2005-09-30T10:25:00.000-04:00

You are a
Social Liberal
(80% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(6% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist

Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Damnit, i so loves me some jack mcfarland.

2005-09-30T08:33:00.000-04:00

from last night's "Will & Grace"

''When an opportunity comes,'' Jack declared on the subject of his dating married men, ''I don't question it! I grab it, drop its ring on the nightstand, and swing on it till dawn!''

time for a beat down.....sorta.

2005-09-29T08:30:00.000-04:00

I’d like to take a moment to beat Lauren in the ass.

And by beat in the ass, I mean catch a quick grope – and my catch a quick grope I mean tounge kiss her in front of her husband so he’ll go get me some ice cream.

BUT my point is.

A few years ago I was out of work and into daytime tv. I got hooked on “starting over” – like talking on message boards – calling friends daily to talk about it ( my favorite is STILL andy – but that’s another story)

Anyhow – the other night “R” was over and we were making cookies ( no that’s not a metaphor) – and watching “ A mighty wind” …. And the cell rings – and it’s lola to tell me about the new season of S.O. … I had not seen any of the new ones … and she kinda got me up to snuff with them.

Now this show comes on locally at 11 am and again at 3:30 AM …. Can you see where this is heading …

So the last 3 nights I have “woken up” ( no alarm, no NOTHING – except the urge to turn on the tv …. And I have seen the last 3 nights of this show.)

It is the best WORST show ever.

And I’m continually suprized at people who go on TELEVISION to talk about their baggage – then say they are scared that people will find out ….

What?

Huh?

Really?

Then why go on tv …..

Anyway … back to my point – I’m on my 3rd day of waking up in the middle of the night to catch up on tv.

So I’ve heard of this thing called tivo, or even a vcr ….. you’d think I’d just do that.

No, that’s too easy.

BAAAAAAAAAAA

2005-09-22T12:43:00.000-04:00

Yeah, i'm sheep like with the girls. Stacey did this - so i had to follow....cause that's how we roll.

( sidebar - tex, remember your promise to stay in touch with me - we're all worried about you and the storm)

10 years ago.
I was sharing a house in the Garden Hills area of Atlanta with my then best friend, and damn things seemed easier then. Well, if not easier, they sure were different. But I wouldn’t go back and do it again … that I know.

5 years ago
Was dating someone who was toxic to me – and subsequently doing really stupid self destructive things to “make” him love me. BUT i had also read a couple of “queen” books and was making some new friends who would change EVERYTHING.

1year ago
I was working at the Atlanta Housing Authority – hating every second of it. But still had the best friends in the world. And I met “the one” the one that got away. I’m still pretty damn sure he was the guy, but he’s not my guy – so whatcha’ gonna do?

Yesterday
I watched 2 episodes of “carnivale” , talked on the phone with the new boy(wow, i like him - please allie don't fuck this one up), tex, christel, and seven. And had a WONDERFUL bubblebath complete with a glass of wine….and listening to Enya.

5 snacks I enjoy the most
Hot pepper jelly and cream cheese on crakers ( it’s a southern thing)
Christine’s artichoke and spinach dip
White trash onion dip
Chocolate
Boys

5 songs I know all the words to
Paradise by the dashboard lights – meat loaf
Enid – Barenaked Ladies
Curbside Prophet – Jason Mraz
Origin of Love – Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Ring them Bells – Liza Minnelli

5 things I would do with a billion dollars
I’d buy you a green dress ( but not a real green dress that’s cruel)
Pay off my goddamn house
Pay off your goddamn house
Buy a mountain
Build a house for all the numbers on the mountain

5 ideal places for running away
Ashville, NC
My mind, when it’s quiet
Into a good book
Into Lola’s Ipod
The MAC counter

5 items you’ll never see me wear
Super long hair ( ditto Stacey )
Belly Shirts
Stirrup Pants
And Pro-Republican shirt
Blonde hair

5 Best TV Shows
Andy Griffith Show
Designing Women ( Delta Burke era)
All Law and Order Versions
Great Performances on PBS
My name is Earl

5 Biggest Joys
When Christel calls and screams WHO DIS & WHAT DOIN
How excited Mike is to see me when I get home
When the new boy feeds me ice cream
That I have a tattoo that matches my girls
Knowing people love me when I can’t love myself

5 favorite toys
Make up
Nail Stuff
Hair Stuff
My Talking Pee Wee Herman Doll
Kitchen Aide

TGIF

2005-09-16T14:47:00.000-04:00

Swoony.

Rhymes with loony … and probably for good reason.

But that’s ok – it’s good to remember that I can feel this way. So, when last we talked “the boy” was coming over to cook me dinner.

And he did.

Like real, grown up food, he made Chicken Parmesan, and a fancee pasta thingy … was SUPER GOOD … and did I mention he was in MY kitchen cooking, while I sat across the bar, watched him and drank a beer.

Momma LIKE!

We ate, and watched movies, and snuggled – and had a really good time. We’re supposed to go out tonight – I hope we do, cause as sick as this is to say – I miss him.

UGH. What’s happened to me??!?!

But other than that – things are good – Christel called and had me laughing my ample ass off while she was talking about what she had in the grocery cart…which got us on the subject of … hell pretty much everything – but she was referring to what the “good” store has vs. the store she was in….which made me bring up the super wal mart.

Now, I’m a Target girl, but have spent much coin at ye old wal-mart …but to be honest – the super wally world kinda freaks me out.

WHY?

Cause I don’t think you should be able to buy the following things at the same store.

Group 1.
Side of beef
Douche
Snow Tires

Group 2
Fresh baked bread
Windshield Wiper Fluid
Ceiling Fan

Group 3
New Bedroom Suite
Handgun
Fried Chicken

Now I realize this is odd, cause I realize I’m southern – and seeing a road side mom and pop store that sells – say, Bait and Frozen Yogurt or Deer Hunting Licenses and Fancee Writing pens …. Phases me not.

But then if I saw a country store somewhere that had Feminine Hygiene Products and bait – I’d prolly keep on driving.

copyright schmopyright

2005-09-16T09:00:00.000-04:00

damnit this is funny ... and kinda like me and some NUMBERS i know.

and the new boy is still good - i'm still swoony - and that's good.

swoon-y

2005-09-12T12:18:00.000-04:00

At the risk of totally jinxing things – I met a really great guy this weekend. Actually this weekend was full of boys. “J” and I went out Friday night to have a few beers and watch the braves game – always a good time…

Then on Saturday I had a first date with a new boy “R”.

We like him.

We went to the Vortex for burgers and beer – first of all, that’s an amazing start. We watched movies later that night and was good snugglin’ – we “fit” ya know when the lean in just fits… I love that.

And tonight he’s coming over to COOK ME DINNER.

I’ve already done a triple check, not married, not gay, homeowner, college educated, employed.

Could be the start of something good.

Could be a kick ass friend if nothing else.

And we like that.